Episode 36 - Healing After Pregnancy Loss: Grief, Stillbirth Awareness, and Journaling with Vallen Webb
By Jessica Garrison
Our next guest, Vallen Webb, is no stranger to The Embracing Layers Network. She has been featured on our YouTube panel show, Together We F.E.E.L, in the episode Processing Grief, as well as hosting Melissa on her podcast, Pregnancy Loss and Motherhood. Vallen describes herself as resilient, joyful, courageous, funny, and griefy.
Vallen is open about her heartbreaking experience losing her daughter during an emotionally taxing delivery. Although an unthinkable situation, it’s more common than people realize. Stillbirth is the leading cause of death for babies in the U.S., with one in four women who know they’re pregnant experiencing a miscarriage. After the death of her daughter, Vallen didn’t know where to turn, journaling to help make some sense of her thoughts. Not only was this beneficial in her own journey, but she wants to use it to help other women, too. She describes how she helped a family a few months after her own loss and discovered her love for teaching women about this. Her goal was to create her own training and become a pregnancy loss educator, exactly like she is doing now.
Sensitive topics like this are usually avoided in conversation because it’s painful and uncomfortable to talk about, which is even more reason to discuss it openly. We should encourage people to share their emotions with us without judgment or interruption. Grief is a funny thing, something that Vallen reiterates in this episode. Not everyone grieves the same way and the timing of our outbursts doesn’t always make sense. And sometimes when deaths are unexpected, you’re not sure where to turn. We expect to lose our grandparents and even parents at some point in our lives, basically anyone who is older than us. But there are some things in life we can never be prepared for. One of the only things that made Vallen feel better was to help other people, and that’s where journaling came in so she could share her story.
Journaling has been a highly recommended outlet by guests on the podcast since the beginning, furthering the importance of self care in our journey. I’ve had a journal since I was a freshman in high school, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop. Keeping thoughts locked inside your mind can make it so cluttered, so it’s good to let them out in an environment with no pressure. Whether they’re thoughts full of grief, sadness, anger, excitement, anxiety, or whatever you may be feeling, it’s always there for you. Vallen reminds us that with self care, it’s less about what you are doing and more about how you are doing it. Practices with intention and purpose are more likely to produce the results you’re looking for.
I really admire Vallen for not only sharing this difficult story, but sharing it with the intention to help others—it really showcases her bravery and strength. The work she does is important for women everywhere, and her impact in the community will carry on for decades.
Ways to Engage: Start practicing everyday, “normal” actions with intention. Things like brushing your hair, washing your face, or making your coffee in the morning. Make it special for yourself or really take time to appreciate the little things you do to take care of yourself each day, because the little things truly add up.
Episode 35 - The Boundary Blueprint: How to Reclaim Your Time, Energy, and Power Without Guilt with Melissa Crook
By Jessica Garrison
With the new year comes new challenges, but it also comes with new beginnings and a fresh mindset. Boundaries are guide posts to help you make informed decisions while still prioritizing yourself, making them essential in your embracing layers journey.
Host Melissa Crook discusses The Boundary Blueprint, dedicated to the second talking point in The F.E.E.L Podcast. In this episode, Melissa discusses the importance of boundaries for everyone, though they can be especially difficult to maintain if you’re codependent or a recovering people pleaser. They serve as a reminder to understand where your limits are and what needs have to be fulfilled. You have to do what is best for you, and boundaries help keep you on the path to achieving this.
Melissa also encourages listeners to stop justifying themselves. We tend to over explain when we tell someone “no,” but that is the confident part to setting boundaries. The more practice you get at it, the less you will feel the need to explain why you made the decision you did.
We hope this episode helps listeners understand boundaries, why they are necessary, and how they can begin to confidently set them in their own lives. If you struggle with this, listen back to some of our other episodes, paying extra attention to the boundaries talking point. Melissa is also available via our contact form to give extra support in any area you may need. Set boundaries in your life so you can live in and continue to protect your peace.
✨ Free Download: Embracing a F.E.E.L Fueled Life Sample Freebie
✨ Ready for deeper support? Visit our website to schedule a complimentary 15–30 minute session or learn more about the FEEL Reset one-on-one empowerment program
Episode 34 - Losing Sight, Finding Strength: Laura Bratton on Resilience, Boundaries, and Empowerment
By Jessica Garrison
Podmatch has brought so many incredible women our way, and Laura Bratton is no exception. She has been on dozens of podcasts before, and we are thrilled to host her this week and add The F.E.E.L Podcast onto her list. Laura describes herself as courageous.
Laura has a backstory like none other that we’ve heard before on the podcast: she lost her sight when she was about 16/17 years old. There was an immense level of grief that came with this, but she attributes her strength to her support system. Her family empowered her, not necessarily through their words, but through their actions. Laura tells us a story of being asked to do the dishes, using the excuse that she couldn’t because she was blind. Instead of her parents letting her shirk her chores, they enforced their rules as they had before she lost her sight. Not only was it difficult for her to continue to work towards the standards as before, but she also recognizes the difficulty her parents had in the situation. Not coddling or giving in helped Laura in the long run, though taking the struggle away all together would’ve been easiest. They believed in her when she didn’t believe in herself, and that is a powerful sentiment to have in life. If you surround yourself with people like that, even if they aren’t in your family, then you will live a rich, fulfilling life.
All of these experiences have amounted to Laura’s why and her values. She wants to be the empowering factor in a person’s life like her parents had been for her; she was able to have the confidence to accomplish so much in her life because of people like her parents. Boundaries also have a lot to do with accomplishing her why because people tend to put Laura in a box. It’s easy to judge someone from the outside—we all do it, but it’s what we do with those thoughts that matters most. We have to push those thoughts away, reminding ourselves that no one deserves to be pigeonholed. We have to put judgment aside and get curious. For Laura, it’s all about what she wants and what her passions are. If someone is overstepping a boundary, she will say so.
The final thing from Laura that I wanted to share is her wisdom when it comes to embracing the layered aspects of yourself. She says that you can grieve and move forward at the same time. She can grieve her vision for the rest of her life as well as moving forward, and that is okay. She needed to give herself that permission, and in turn, remind everyone to give themselves permission, too.
Laura has such incredible strength, optimism, and conviction. Her story is an inspiration for all to listen to, not only to the blind community. It is beneficial to listen to this when preparing for your embracing layers journey, or just need a bit of motivation to keep going. No matter what challenges arise, there is a way to conquer them.
Ways to Engage: Next time you make a snap judgment about someone, change it into curiosity. Ask them a question, talk about their day, or engage in a way that will challenge the way you see the world. Keep moving, keep growing.
Episode 33 - FEEL Reset: A Self-Care Reset for Burned Out Women Seeking Alignment & Empowerment
By Jessica Garrison
As we step into 2026, The FEEL Podcast is inviting women to slow down, realign, and reconnect with what truly matters.
In this kickoff Tuesday episode, host Melissa Crook introduces the FEEL Reset, a simple yet powerful self-reflection and alignment practice designed for women who feel burned out, overwhelmed, or disconnected from themselves. This episode also marks the launch of a new podcast rhythm: short, 10–15 minute Tuesday episodes offering practical encouragement you can apply right away, alongside the deeper guest conversations you love on Thursdays.
In this episode, you’ll learn how to reconnect with who you are beyond your roles and titles, clarify how you want to feel over the next six months, and create a sustainable self-care blueprint that supports alignment instead of exhaustion. Melissa shares how small, intentional shifts, like reviewing your calendar, honoring your body’s cues, and practicing aligned “yes” and “no” decisions can restore clarity, energy, and peace.
This episode is an invitation to stop performing and start honoring what you actually need, so you can show up fully resourced for your life.
✨ Bonus: A free downloadable FEEL Reset PDF is available in the show notes to guide your reflection.
✨ Ready for deeper support? Visit embracinglayers.com to schedule a complimentary 15–30 minute session or learn more about the FEEL Reset one-on-one empowerment program - https://www.embracinglayers.com/contact
Let 2026 be the year you reset, realign, and reconnect with yourself.
Episode 31 & 32 - Healthy Boundaries for Women: Saying No Without Guilt to Start the New Year Strong with Maureen Considine & Janie Jurkovich
By Jessica Garrison
We’re doing something a little different for this last week of 2025 with two guests in one blog! Our first guest of the week is Maureen Considine, who describes herself as courageous, adventurous, fun, driven, kind, and of service. Our second guest this week is Janie Jurkovich, whom Melissa knows from the Fresno County Women’s Chamber of Commerce. She describes herself as honest, practical, funny, determined, and a woman who perseveres.
I want to touch on the topic of boundaries in this blog because both women have such incredible things to say about this subject, and there’s nothing like the new year to bring new challenges you’ll need to face with healthy boundaries. Maureen says, it’s not really about what you say no to but really what you say yes to. We’ve heard similar phrasing in the past, but it’s crucial to remember when making decisions. If you’re constantly saying yes to things, you won’t have time for what nourishes your soul. Similarly to self care, Maureen reminds us to stay committed to our boundaries, which is arguably the hardest part of them. People are bound to come along and try to push you past your limits, but you have to remember that you said no for a reason.
For Janie, she didn’t know boundaries were a thing for the longest time, which is a common answer for a lot of our guests. She’s since learned that it’s okay to say no without an explanation because “No” is a complete sentence. Boundaries also set the standard for how people will treat you. If they see you as someone who stands their ground and doesn’t let people walk all over them, they probably won’t even try to. But if they see you’re not one to hold up your boundaries—or as Maureen says, commit to them—then they won’t bother to listen to them in the first place. Janie says it’s important to keep practicing at setting and sticking to your boundaries, and eventually you will get better at it. I also wanted to share the reminder that Janie told us: it isn’t your job to please everybody. You are only responsible for yourself and if someone is unhappy, that is their own journey to handle it.
Maureen’s episode will be out Tuesday, December 30th and Janie’s episode will be out Thursday, January 1st to perfectly wrap up 2025 and begin 2026. I hope everyone takes the advice, not only from these two incredible women, but from all of the guests we’ve had over this year. Remember that you set the precedent for how people will treat you, and you are worthy of the utmost respect. Also remember to respect your boundaries and practice committing to them—you can only get better. Happy holidays from everyone at The Embracing Layers Network. We’ll see you next year!
Ways to Engage: Think of some questions to ask yourself when saying yes to something. Do you really want to? Does it feed your soul? If you can’t answer yes to these questions, then challenge yourself by saying no to the request. You might feel guilt at first or experience some backlash, but it’s important to honor yourself and what you want.
Episode 30 - Healing From Spiritual Abuse: Divorce, Faith Deconstruction, and Choosing Self-Care with Daphne McGee
By Jessica Garrison
Episode trigger warning: abuse
Our next guest comes recommended to us from Neva Talladen, the editor of our book Embracing Layers Unapologetically. Daphne McGee has also been on our panel shows including, “Honest Conversation Around “Child-Free” and “Child-Less.” She describes herself as caring, warm, hospitable, and brave.
Daphne grew up in a Baptist Church in Texas, raised to sacrifice to God and allow Him to take care of you. Although a rule follower, Daphne was also very curious, which wasn’t always accepted in the church setting. This trait opened up a new world to her whenever she was, questioning if there was something more. She says her biggest act of self care was getting divorced from her husband when she was being emotionally and spiritually abused. This gave her body a release, physically showcasing that she was doing the best thing for herself.
She’s since shared her story online, allowing her to connect with people on a greater scale. This morphed into a new book she has coming out called God Loves Divorce. It is the ultimate act to live out of your own expectations by doing something people may not approve of, and divorce isn’t always understood in the church. Just like with her curious side, Daphne had to stay true to herself and make the right decisions. Her divorce was the ultimate act of honoring herself, leaving the church in pursuit of a community that would support her in the ways that she needed. Even though self care is a new concept for Daphne, she’s been practicing it without even knowing what words to put to it.
This work has allowed her to help other women just by sharing her story. She’s always been vocal online about her faith, so it was natural for her to tell it through this lens. Once she took that step forward to do something for herself, it resonated with so many other people. It’s a shame to hear that so many women have a similar experience, but it also means that we can help these women start living out of their expectations and find that authenticity in their own lives. Daphne says that self care is community care, and I couldn’t agree more.
Daphne has her own podcast with a friend, Love Is A Trip, filled with even more fun stories and heartfelt content. I’m thankful to Neva, not only for everything she has done for us, but for thinking of us when she encounters these incredible women. We love to share their stories of healing and triumph, proving that every woman deserves and is capable of creating the life they want.
Ways to Engage: Is there a trait you had when you were younger that you “grew out of.” Think of why this happened. Were people dismissive? Were you told not to act or think a certain way? Explore your childhood interests or personality and think about why you’ve changed. Live your own truth and out of your own expectations.
Resources:
Call 800-799-7233 or text BEGIN to 88788
Episode 29 - Second Act Success: How Shannon Russell Reinvented Her Career and Reclaimed Her Purpose
By Jessica Garrison
We’ve been paired with yet another incredible Podmatch guest, Shannon Russell. She showcases her positivity, ambitiousness, and adventurous side on her podcast, Second Act Success, and now she is here to share those traits with The F.E.E.L Podcast.
Shannon had a shift in her life after leaving her career of 16 years in TV to start a new business. Her passion is helping people, and she didn’t want anyone to be alone in their journey as she had been. It’s become the norm to hate your job, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Shannon wants to help people find what they can shift in their own lives to achieve their goals. The why and values piece means everything to Shannon. She says, “focus on the why and everything will fall into place.”
This also makes living out of your own expectations easier because you’re so focused on your why and your values that nothing else matters enough to deter you. Although there was initial shock from people in Shannon’s life, it wasn’t anything she wasn’t expecting. There’s no hesitation on her end when it comes to telling people what she does and what she wants. When you first hear this, it sounds a little jarring because who does that? Who just does what they want? It seems impossible, but it really isn’t. You can do whatever you want and live the life you want rather than what someone else expects of you—you just have to have the right attitude or headspace going into it.
Not everything may be right the first time you try it, and that’s okay, too. Shannon shares that she kept trying different things that didn’t feel quite right, but she wasn’t discouraged. She knew she would find the best fit for herself, so she kept working at it. Even something like stress can change for you when you get out of a job you hate into the job you love. We’ve discussed before that there are healthy stressors and unhealthy stressors, but Shannon found something that gives her a different kind of stress—a better kind of stress. It’s strange to think of “healthy stress,” but you’ll know it when you feel it.
Shannon is able to see her impact in the lives of others as well as in her own life. She may still be working on building her business further, but she is confident that she is in the right place. Things like this don’t happen overnight, but if you continue to work little by little, the results will appear eventually. The puzzle doesn’t come already built in the box. You have to find the pieces and fit them together yourself. Some are easy, some are difficult, and sometimes it takes a while, but the puzzle comes together eventually.
Listen to Shannon’s episode to hear more about the changes she’s made and how this has positively impacted her life. Allow her story to inspire you and remind you going into the new year that anything is possible. It’s your life, and it isn’t too late to start living it.
Ways to Engage: Use time you would be using to scroll on your phone to do something with more intention. If you’re watching a movie, don’t scroll on your phone and be present in the moment. If you’re out to dinner, leave your phone at home or in the car to really appreciate the time you have with yourself as well as with your loved ones.
Episode 28 - Breaking Free from Good Girl Expectations: Barbara Howlin’s Journey to Self-Trust and Inner Safety
By Jessica Garrison
Our episode this week with Barbara Howlin is full of gems and reminders for our listeners to take with them as they embark on their own journey. Barbara describes herself as a creative, loving, passionate, and expansive human.
We’ve discussed “good girl syndrome” in a past episode with Kat Newport, and Barbara bringing it up again goes to show how prominent it is in our society. Barbara says she is shedding the good girl syndrome and focusing on being herself, rather than automatically trying to conform to the good girl everyone wants to see. It can be difficult not to resort back to old tactics, such as looking for validation from other people. I know I struggle with seeking validation from people sometimes, even though I don’t need it. Barbara deals with this by asking herself questions to make sure she is living out of her own expectations rather than someone else’s. Am I trying to prove myself? Am I living from the inside out or the outside in? Am I coming from a place of love or a place looking for love? Barbara says she was walking through life with her head down rather than up, and she doesn’t want to rush through anymore. It’s important we take time and slow down to appreciate our lives when the moment is here.
Her morning routine consists of journaling, reiki, and movement in nature, a practice that doesn’t take long at all—about 30 minutes in total. Barbara describes this balance as a juggling act between what you need and what will make you feel nourished, and she has a clear understanding of what is most important to her. The glass in her life that she refuses to drop is herself and her family. Everything else will bounce back, and I think that’s a great way at looking at what you prioritize in comparison to everything else. It really puts things into perspective.
Burnout recovery was needed for Barbara, something she realized just before the pandemic. After that, she knew she couldn’t go back to the way things were before. She began reclaiming her intuition and recovered a sense of safety. Our nervous systems are not built to be on edge all day every day, and we have to train ourselves to know that we aren’t in danger. Recreating a sense of safety often begins with looking back at your past or your childhood. In other words, it starts with embracing your layers.
Barbara’s story is one to come back to whenever you’re doubting yourself. She shows us not only how necessary it is that we take care of ourselves, but also that we continue to live our lives, having fun while we do it. There’s no need to be ashamed of your layers or what you have experienced. All we can do now is move forward and hold our heads high as we go.
Ways to Engage: Identify some things in your life that are “glass.” What can you not drop at any cost in fear of it breaking? What can you live with dropping and having it bounce back? Remember these priorities during your journey.
Episode 27 - From Toxicity to Transformation: How Corine Lafont Found Self-Worth and Emotional Freedom
By Jessica Garrison
I just know everyone is going to adore our next guest, Corine Lafont. Corine takes a break from her own podcast, Between the Lines, to join Melissa in a lively conversation of embracing her layers. She describes herself as young, cute, and sexy.
As we get older, our body changes and although that seems self-explanatory, we don’t acknowledge or treat ourselves like it. Corine relays the importance of recentering and recalibrating herself, checking in on her progress. After leaving a toxic 27 year relationship, Corine could see the changes in herself, and I’m sure people noticed on the outside as well. She mentioned that things as small as skin improvement can come as a result of finally putting yourself first. Once you’re rid of the person who has been dragging you down, the toxicity and stress is able to leave the body, too. However, once you start to find that light again, people are drawn to it, but you have to be careful they aren’t draining it.
Corine also reminds us how important it is to find that balancing act of letting people in but not letting them take advantage of you. It’s difficult at first, especially for people pleasers, to say no and to understand when it’s time to stop giving. Corine says she has no expectations because she doesn’t need to prove herself—not to herself or to anyone else. She doesn’t give her energy to people who aren’t worth her time or are constantly draining her without giving anything back. It’s not about a relationship being transactional, but more so about finding a balance in the relationship. At the end of the day, the trust you have for yourself is what matters most. Whatever feels healthiest for you, whether it’s nutritionally, physically, or mentally, don’t doubt yourself. You’ll know when you’re on the right path.
When discussing how living out F.E.E.L has impacted some of her relationships, Corine sends a strong reminder to not compromise—stick to your boundaries. When you give an inch, it makes people think they can take a mile, but it isn’t apparent at the beginning. Sometimes you’ll be pushed bit by bit to see how far they can go, and each time is just a bit further and further until you’re right back where you started. Misery loves company, so even subconsciously, people can be bringing you down without even trying. You have to look out for yourself the best you can and protect yourself like you would a best friend.
Corine doesn’t have the feeling of missing out like she used to because she knows in her heart she is doing what is best for herself, standing beside her inner child as they go through life, healing themselves and others. Let Corine be that little voice inside your head telling you to keep going, reminding yourself that you’re on the right track.
Ways to Engage: Next time you’re faced with a decision, big or small, ask yourself some questions. Is this what I want? Who am I? Recognize your true self with your true emotions towards the decision and base it off of those answers rather than out of guilt or people pleasing tendencies.
Episode 26 - Healing from Within: Holistic Self-Care, Body Awareness, and Women’s Wellness with Alexandra Birch
By Jessica Garrison
Episode trigger warning: eating disorder
Our first guest of the week is Alexandra Birch, who is holistic in mind, body, and spirit. Science is also part of what she does and who she is, keeping an open mind to explore all sides of healing.
Self care first crossed Alexandra’s doorstep when it was just a “buzzword,” slapping the label on something materialistic you could buy without really considering if it was actually part of self care. She has since learned that the connection between taking care of yourself internally matches your health externally. She was a competitive athlete, obsessed with taking her performance to the next level. Without sports, she became lost and turned her attention to nutrition. I also was an athlete, playing softball all year round for 6 years. Once I stopped, my physique changed, and I quickly realized I couldn’t eat the way I used to. Although nutrition is always important, sometimes it takes something like weight gain or constant exhaustion to get you to focus inward like it had for me and for Alexandra.
The body is constantly giving us signals and, although Alexandra is still learning, she’s more intune with herself and what she needs. She says she prioritizes stillness and quiet, coming back to her body and really listening to what it’s telling her. She also emphasizes the need to listen to yourself on a day to day basis to understand what you need, and I appreciate her bringing that up in this conversation. Sometimes what works one day may not have the same effect the next, and that can become frustrating. We’ve heard a few guests in the past talk about having a “self care menu,” where they have different activities listed that they can choose from depending on their mood. Even the things on your list might not work or need to be updated, but it’s a place to start.
I also love how Alexandra brings up the selflessness of self care, even though women have been taught to think it’s selfish. Filling up your own cup allows you to pour into others, part of the reason Alexandra quit her corporate job and chose to specialize in her fertility. This work is healing to her and is a subject she is passionate about, which is so obvious when listening to her speak. Doing work that nourishes her soul not only fills her cup, but she is able to support other women in living unapologetically by pouring into them with this work.
These subjects specifically involving women need to be talked about more and shared without shame. It’s scary to take that leap of faith, but it only leads to all of the answers you’ve been looking for, along with ways to accomplish your goals. I think Alexandra has so much knowledge and really articulates her story well while weaving that in. Her own courage and strength will inspire others for generations.
Ways to Engage: Try creating your own self care menu, choosing from the menu when you’re unsure of which self care practice to utilize. Starting with 5 activities that nourish you or 5 ways you want to feel in the 6 months is a great starting point towards a self care routine.
Resources: Eating Recovery Center, NEDA (National Eating Disorder Association)
Episode 25 - Healing Through Writing: Emotional Wellness, Trauma Recovery & Women’s Empowerment with Teresa Rosario-Hernandez
By Jessica Garrison
We are joined by another great guest from Podmatch, Teresa Rosario-Hernandez. Teresa is determined, independent, hopeful, hardworking, professional, and she is a forever dreamer.
Since this episode releases during the holiday season, it’s more important than ever to make sure we are taking care of ourselves when the stress is building. Teresa shares how she didn’t recognize herself when she wasn’t taking care of her emotional and mental health. It manifested into physical health problems, as she was reacting to trauma rather than processing it. It’s become easier since Teresa has given herself permission to feel, saying that emotional health is more about moving through the storm rather than pretending it’s sunny out all the time.
Teresa now has tools she uses to process these emotions and to move through the storm. She needs a way to release her thoughts so she doesn’t get caught up in that cycle of negative thoughts or memories. Through affirmations, voice notes, and poetry, Teresa has been able to put her emotions into words to be able to process them. Her main vice is writing, which is a powerful tool that is under utilized. I’m a bit biased, but there’s a great release when you write out what you’re thinking. I tell people that even if they aren’t “good at it,” writing poetry can really help you make some sense of everything going on in your mind. It doesn’t have to be perfect because you aren’t publishing it—no one has to see it but you. It’s relieving to get those thoughts out of your body, so forget about being the best writer or the best speller. Do it for yourself, and only share if that feels authentic for you. It’s also nice to keep them in a journal so you can look back over them when the feelings aren’t as fresh and raw.
By taking care of her emotional as well as her physical health, it’s opened doors for Teresa to support women in living unapologetically. She emphasizes the need for more grace and less judgment in these spaces. We don’t always see what other people see, and everyone has their own experience or wisdom to share. There’s more of an impact when we can learn and we can teach without the worry of unnecessary judgment. I also loved that during this talking point Teresa says, “Never shame a woman for changing her mind or for starting over.” No matter where you’ve been or what you’ve done, there is always an opportunity to start fresh. It’s not easy, so it should be something that is celebrated and acknowledged. Women especially get put into a box that seems impossible to break out of at first, but once you do, the real magic happens.
Teresa has her own self-improvement podcast, Prosecco Queens Podcast, where she continues to share her story (with a little help from the Prosecco, of course). Women work so hard to make sure others feel supported, so why not you? Start prioritizing yourself today and feel the shift into a healthier life.
Ways to Engage: Write a poem about a recent event or emotion you experienced. It doesn’t have to rhyme or be in a certain format. Just put the pen in your hand, open your mind, and write.
Episode 24 - Sisterhood Through Survival: How Deana Lynn & Lizzie Jane Turned Pain Into Purpose
By Jessica Garrison
Episode trigger warning: abuse
We have a double feature today with two amazing guests we have met recently. Deana Lynn and Lizzie Jane have a podcast together called Surviving Toxic Relationships, where they discuss what brought them together and have guests to share their own experiences. Deana describes herself as energetic, extroverted, empathetic, and motivated, while Lizzie describes herself as resilient, compassionate, empowering, and wise.
The history between Deana and Lizzie is further explained by them in the episode, but in short, the two of them were married to the same man who did not treat them the way they deserved. He had narcissistic behaviors and abusive tendencies, but they were able to overcome this trauma and create something beautiful together. They want to support other women in living unapologetically just as they have for each other. I had chills when Lizzie recalled looking over at Deana and saying, “we’re going to tell our story to the world.” She knew that other women needed to know the signs and what to watch out for when meeting a man like their ex-husband—there was even a 3rd woman involved in the situation, proving their point further that these resources are necessary.
Deana shares how she felt guilty for not warning Lizzie of her ex-husband’s behavior ahead of time, but her son eventually encouraged her to reach out to Lizzie, knowing how kind and understanding of a woman she is. Deana says it was a very validating experience for her, able to talk to someone who can truly understand what she had been through. It also validated Lizzie’s gut feeling, which is so important to remember. Always trust your gut or your intuition. It’s been happening a lot in my life personally where me or a friend have had a gut feeling we listened to and it paid off. I’m always urging people to listen to that voice inside because she does know best.
It’s incredible to hear these stories from women who have turned such a negative experience into something so magical. They’re lucky to have had each other through this experience, but they know not everyone is as lucky. Their podcast is to not only tell their story but to allow others to learn and to tell theirs.
Deana reminds us to let that ex go and focus on yourself. Uncover your layers and get to know the real you, not the one that was buried underneath the narcissist for so many years. Lizzie says, “The layers don’t make me complicated, they make me whole,” and I don’t think there’s a better quote from the episode. No matter what happens, you have yourself. The rest will follow.
Ways to Engage: Name some things you like about yourself. Not how others make you feel or what others like about you. Focus on who you are, what you value in yourself, and remember to be your own biggest supporter.
Resources:
The Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness (Education & Action)
National Domestic Violence Hotline: call 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788
Episode 23 - Boundaries That Build You: A Conversation with Briana Bowley
By Jessica Garrison
Episode trigger warning: eating disorder
Our next guest joins us from Australia as she reflects upon our talking points and shares her experiences through them. Briana Bowley describes herself as innovative, driven, and inspired.
Briana was a competitive body builder for a long time, and this has given her new ways to look at and appreciate her journey. Briana used to think she was the problem, burning herself out by pushing through and overworking. Eventually, she listened to the whisper within herself and slowed down; she was curious of another way of living, which opened doors for her to explore. We always talk about curiosity and how important that is in a person’s embracing layers journey, and Briana just further proves our point.
Boundaries have been the most difficult part for Briana, but she says she has been building up her strength for them. She made a great comparison between lifting weights and boundaries. You can’t walk into a gym on day one and expect to lift the heaviest weights in the building. You start small and build up your muscle until you’re able to do it safely and effectively. The same goes for boundaries. Briana says that she started small and built up to setting stronger boundaries and by doing this, she’s gotten better at setting and keeping those boundaries. This is true with so many things, so we have to remember to give ourselves grace and patience. Results won’t happen overnight, but if you continue to work at it, you can only get better.
While further discussing boundaries, Briana told a story that I think is helpful for anyone to hear, and it also clears up the different types of conflict we can have. Briana shared that she was getting her eyebrows done one time and she wasn’t really happy with the results. There was one of two things she could do: she could tell the woman she’s unhappy and have them fixed, or she could not say anything and go home. This is the external conflict versus the internal. External being she says something and internal being she keeps it to herself. She ended up giving feedback to the woman who thanked her, glad that she could improve upon her work. We have a hard time, especially as women, giving criticism even if it’s constructive because we don’t want to seem rude. But the truth is, people like to hear the feedback so they don’t make the same mistake twice. As long as you’re telling them in a respectful, kind way, then there’s no reason you should hold back your feelings.
Briana is such an impressive young woman who has more lessons and eye-opening analogies to share. If you took something away from the blog, then there’s even more to take away from the episode. Dive into our episode with Briana further and get to love her like we have.
Ways to Engage: Next time you’re faced with a decision for an internal/external conflict, challenge yourself to have the conversation. Just like with building muscle, start small and work your way up to the more difficult conversations.
Resources:
National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA)
National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (ANAD)
Episode 22 - Self Care, Reinvention, and Living Unfiltered with Kara Vaval
By Jessica Garrison
We have another crossover this week with Kara Vaval, host of the Unfiltered podcast. Melissa was on her podcast in the episode “How to F.E.E.L Your Way to Freedom with Melissa Crook.” Kara is unhinged, unenamored, motivational, and inspirational. She is also the queen of reinventing herself, and she knows when it’s time to do that.
Self-care is where it all starts for Kara. It’s a way of letting herself know she matters and is worth the time to put into herself. A lot of women tend to get hung up on the self-care portion of their journey because they believe it to be selfish or they don’t think they have time. The truth is that sometimes you just have to block out time in your calendar to get your self-care practices done, but it shouldn’t feel like you’re just checking items off your list. Whatever nourishes your soul or makes you feel more relaxed should be part of your self-care routine, but it’s also okay if you need different things on different days. One of Kara’s nonnegotiables is a workout in the morning. Having these nonnegotiables also help you reinstate your boundaries, allowing you to practice saying, “no, this is a nonnegotiable for me and I can’t skip it.” Whatever you value should be protected, and you yourself are valuable.
Kara also expresses the role that journaling plays in her self-care routine, allowing herself to freely unleash her thoughts onto the page. You don’t have to be a good writer to take time to write about your day, your emotions, or whatever you want to utilize your journal for. Kara loves and values herself, though she didn’t start off feeling this way. It took time and dedication to help her reach where she is now, and she has had many versions of herself to learn from and appreciate. She works to understand her experiences, paying the price so others don’t have to do it. It’s why she began the work she does now—to support others while reminding them that they are not alone. You don’t have to suffer through these experiences, not knowing which direction to go in. Too many women have had to stumble around blindly until they found what they were looking for, and Kara wants to put that to an end.
The last thing I wanted to touch on from this episode is Kara’s emphasized expression of the importance of making sure you are in the driver’s seat for your life. We’ve heard this from a few other guests this season, so it is essential to understand that you only get one life to live, and you should be living it for yourself. At the end of the day, you are the one making the decisions you will have to live with, so make sure it’s actually what you want. Kara does a great job of explaining living out of her own expectations rather than others’ with this piece, just like she does the other talking points.
If there’s ever going to be someone you value in life, make sure your name is at the top of the list. Make yourself proud and live your truth out loud. You deserve it.
Ways to Engage: Think of something you want as nonnegotiable in your self care practices. Is it having coffee by yourself in the morning? Is it a workout? Find something that nourishes your soul and weave it into your daily life. Pay attention to how it affects you or makes you feel.
Episode 21 - From Financial Rock Bottom to Purpose and Prosperity: Michelle Campbell’s Story of Healing, Hope, and Financial Freedom
By Jessica Garrison
Trigger warnings: depression, suicidal ideation
We are honored to have Michelle Campbell with us this week for a new episode of The F.E.E.L Podcast. She is a serial entrepreneur, a learner, curious, and purpose-filled. Michelle has come a long way since the beginning of her journey, but she still works to grow and evolve, offering whatever resources she can to those who are in the position she once was.
Michelle has struggled with finances in the past, and this was her biggest obstacle to overcome. If you ask anyone what their number one stressor is, they’re probably going to say money. All anyone wants to do is live comfortably, but in this world, especially in America, finances are a struggle. It’s the measurement of success in many people’s minds, and this causes a lot of emotional distress. We’re getting closer to Christmas, the most financially taxing holiday, so this is the perfect time to listen to Michelle talk about her experiences and how she handled them. Michelle became very depressed, even having suicidal ideation because being without money means being without security. You get wrapped up in debt, interest, and before you know it, you’re so deep in the hole you don’t know where to start to get yourself out. Michelle was in this exact same spot, but she was able to turn things around for herself.
While discussing how to support other women in living unapologetically, Michelle says that she loved to do small, random acts of kindness but wanted to spread the joy on a larger platform. Between her toxic relationship with money and the battles she won to come this far, Michelle knew she could change people’s lives for the better with her voice. She wrote the book Bluebird, a memoir about her life and everything she’s been faced with, as well as how she was able to overcome it. Although it’s difficult to be vulnerable, especially in a public forum, Michelle knew that sharing her story would bring it to the people who needed it most. We don’t have to go through the struggles alone or without additional resources, the same reason Melissa started the podcast a few years ago.
It’s like an unspoken rule that you aren’t supposed to discuss money, but I think more than ever we should. Not only to understand more, but to also hold people accountable. I’ve been told before not to discuss my hourly pay at work, but if I hadn’t, then I wouldn’t have found out the people I was training were making more money than me. It’s in the best interest of a capitalistic society to keep people financially illiterate and to struggle by themselves with money, but we don’t have to live that way. We should be talking to one another, learning from one another, and growing.
You don’t have to go through life unknowing, there are so many amazing people and resources out there to learn from. Even if you don’t know where to start, just wanting to begin the journey is a great step forward. Listen to Michelle’s story and allow her to inspire you that every day is a new day, and it isn’t too late to start over.
Ways to Engage: Keep a budgeting journal. If it’s new to you, try starting small like budgeting for those new shoes you want or a night out. Keep track of what comes in and what goes out, being more mindful with your money.
Resources:
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
call or text 988
Episode 20 - Healing After Trauma: Mind, Body & Soul Recovery with Karen Robinson
By Jessica Garrison
Episode trigger warnings: mentions of suicide, assault, trauma, and abuse
This week we are joined by Karen Robinson of the Heal, Thrive, Dream Podcast that Melissa guested on recently! Karen is an authentic, genuine, and compassionate woman with so much knowledge to share. This episode features topics that may be triggering for some people, so proceed with caution.
Over the years, Karen has been able to further understand the connection between our mind, body, and soul. She tracks her negative thoughts, organizing them into buckets that are either her negative thoughts or her core beliefs. Sometimes these thoughts are hidden within the self conscience and need deeper analytical skills to fully remember or understand. Therapy is a powerful tool, and Karen shares that she uses behavioral therapy to help her organize her thoughts and explore her trauma deeper.
She says that she used to numb her emotions with unhealthy methods, which we have heard many times before from women. It’s not uncommon for people to seek out alcohol, drugs, or even food as a way to cope with their emotions rather than facing the reality of them, but Karen provides information that can change your whole perspective. An emotion can pass through our bodies in as little as 9 seconds, but we work so hard to avoid those 9 seconds, stuffing it further and further down. We try to put those 9 seconds off as long as possible to fill the void with whatever is within reach.
Rather than getting it over with and facing your emotions head on, we really try to avoid feeling at all unless it’s an emotion we deem “good” like happy or excited. But as Karen reminds us, we are one with our body. It’s one system, so everything is connected. That means if one area is impacted, the rest of us will be impacted eventually, even if we don’t see it at first. Even so much as leaving your teeth uncleaned can cause bacteria to grow that can make you feel sick in the rest of your body. I would never think that teeth could affect a person’s overall health, but we truly are connected beings. When we avoid one area of our health, we’re really avoiding our health as a whole.
Karen has worked so hard to get to where she is today as she continues to support others in discovering their true selves and overcoming trauma. The journey begins with you and your step towards creating a healthier life for yourself, but you are never alone in your efforts. Women like Karen are all around you—you just have to open your heart and mind.
Ways to Engage: Try tracking your negative thoughts, separating what are lies you’re telling yourself and what the truth is. Sift through what your core beliefs or values are, keeping them in your mind and getting rid of unnecessary negativity.
Resources:
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
call or text 988
National Domestic Violence Hotline
call 800-799-7233
text BEGIN to 88788
RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline
call 800-656-4673
text HOPE to 64673
CTRI
Episode 19 - Healing Beyond Medicine: Touchology and the Power of Listening with Njideka Olatunde
By Jessica Garrison
Our next guest is the incredible Njideka Olatunde. She describes herself as an evolving butterfly, which is the most perfect, beautiful imagery for the journey we take through finding empowerment and embracing our layers.
Inspired by home remedies in her household growing up, Njideka wanted to become a healer. She’s always had that passion for helping people and now focuses on being an educator, advocate, and ambassador for pain relief that is alternative to medicine. Prescription medicine can be very helpful, if you’re taking it for the right reasons with proper diagnosis. Sometimes when we have a health concern, we get treated for one area of the problem rather than treating the core of the problem. When you’re only healing one aspect, you just end up going back to the doctor because of something else popping up, but again, it’s because the core of the issue has not been resolved. Njideka understands that pain and stress go hand in hand, so she has a process for understanding the whole problem rather than just a piece of it.
Njideka utilizes the power of touch with her patients, starting with listening. Although you don’t have to physically touch someone to listen, it’s the most important step for proper treatment. She opens her mind and lends an ear to her patients so she can get a full idea of what the issues are. Rather than listening to one part of the problem, she is listening to figure out the core, which saves money, time, and prescription medicine for someone who might not need it. Njideka emphasizes that not one specialist can do it all. There’s a combination of treatments that Njideka will refer to or recommend, but she is coming from the understanding of mind, body, and spirit connections.
Njideka reiterates that touch is more than physical when it comes to touchology. Even a simple “thank you” can be healing. She and Melissa shared a few examples of this, but the one that stuck out in my head was when you’re driving, trying to merge/switch lanes but no one will let you in. Then there’s that one person who will let you go and it’s the biggest relief in the world. You give them a wave to say thank you, they wave back, and then you go on with your day, but you still remember that person who let you in when no one else would. It’s a healing experience that proves any small amount of kindness or consideration is healing.
Explore Njideka’s website to learn more and focus on all aspects of healing. Remember that anyone has the ability to heal and to be healed—suffering isn’t forever. Women like Njideka open doors for new methods of healing and we have only scratched the surface of this world.
Ways to Engage: Your why is a powerful question. Think back to when you were a child and what made you feel passionate or what you wanted to do with your life before someone told you you couldn’t. Does this align with you now? What changed? Explore your journey to discovering your current why, what you love now, and what you left behind.
Episode 18 - Empowering Women to Live Unapologetically with Julie Marty-Pearson: Mental Health, Pets, and Podcasting with Purpose
By Jessica Garrison
I’m so excited for everyone to listen to our newest guest, Julie Marty-Pearson. She has an abundance to share with us and her story is full of twists, turns, and triumphs. Julie describes herself as empathetic, authentic, empowering.
Julie is the epitome of supporting women in living unapologetically. To get to where she is now, we have to delve into the past. When Julie was around 11 or 12 years old, she got really sick, and it took 6 months to figure out what was wrong with her. This caused her to miss a majority of her 7th grade year, which is a pivotal year in our upbringing. We see it now in children who missed out on school because of the pandemic, and we’re seeing the ramifications of just how impactful that time is in a child’s life. This caused her mental health to deteriorate, but she had pets to help her anxiety and depression. I adopted my first cat back in April, and she has changed my mental health immensely and only for the better. You hear that having pets can help a person’s mental health, but you don’t really know just how true it is until you experience it.
She turned her love for animals into a podcast, The Story of My Pet Podcast. She took her passion and created a space for it that is also helpful to others. According to her website, “it is now a top 5% podcast focused on educating and advocating to help animals in need.” She didn’t know a lot of women like herself, but she was able to find a community of like-minded people through her podcast work. Julie is combining her career coaching background with her love for podcasts to help women get their own podcasts started. It’s an overwhelming experience, especially when you don’t know where to start. But Julie wants to hear more women share their voices and talk about their passions, so she helps to build that foundation. I love to hear when people who are already established offer their resources to other women just trying to figure it out. Similar to The Embracing Layers Network, we provide resources to those who need them most, and I think that’s what connects us so strongly with Julie.
This community she found made her feel safe. She could hear from others and speak her truth without the fear of judgment. Her “why” is to create a space for women like her, and I think she’s done just that. She honors herself by living out her dreams, and this inspires others to do the exact same. However, the work is never truly done. There’s definitely not enough female voices in the media, especially in the world of podcasts. If you’re looking to dive into that experience, there’s no greater time like the present.
Ways to Engage: What are some topics you’d have your own podcast about? What are you so passionate or knowledgeable about that you could talk about for hours? Learn more about yourself and discover new passions.
Episode 17 - Building Boundaries & Balanced Living with Coach Kay: Bringing Intimacy Back & Self-Care for Women
By Jessica Garrison
Our first guest of the week is the one and only Coach Kay from the podcast, Bringing Intimacy Back. Melissa was featured on her podcast in the episode “Your Life, Your Rules,” and now we’re able to host her as our guest. Coach Kay is laid back, funny, and a serial entrepreneur.
Coach Kay is a mother of five, which most people would assume is a recipe for disaster in the boundaries category, but Coach Kay gets her children started early with boundaries. She used the example that from a young age, her children knew that if there was a door closed, they should knock before going in. Although they don’t have the right words yet, they are already understanding and respecting someone’s boundaries. After something small like that is established, it makes explaining them and putting more into place much easier.
Coach Kay also emphasizes the importance of taking care of all areas of one’s health, including physical, mental, and spiritual. When she was experiencing too much stress, her body started to shut down physically. She says that while growing up, she saw her mother constantly on the go, never having enough time to take care of herself. She’d seen the negative impact that had, and she knew she needed to start treating herself better. It was a pivotal point in her journey to not only discover, but to also understand the need for a balance between different aspects of a person’s health. If one is being ignored, then it will eventually catch up and cause the others to diminish.
This realization led her to seeing the value in herself and acting accordingly. She respects her body as well as her mind, and I really don’t think people understand how much this can change their lives. It isn’t about being a specific weight or running yourself into the ground with exercise, but it’s about what is making you feel good both inside and out. Filling your body with nutritious food, working anxieties out of the body with movement, and journaling are just a few examples of things to do that will help in all areas of making you feel healthier. Once you start to make these changes, from boundaries to accepting your layers, it becomes apparent in other areas of your life, including the relationships you have around you.
It’s clear that Coach Kay has a lot of knowledge and experience to share, so go give her episode with Melissa a listen and explore these connections further. We have such a great community of women we have built over the years, and it only continues to grow, giving me great hope for the future.
Ways to Engage: Focus on yourself in silence. Feel the weight of what you’ve been carrying from the past and things you cannot change from the present. Release or work towards releasing the things that hold you down. Check back in with yourself every so often. If you start to feel lighter, you’re heading in the right direction.
Episode 16 - Rediscovering Your Why: Living by Your Values with Foster Wilson
By Jessica Garrison
Podmatch has yet again brought us an incredible guest that we get to share with everyone this week. The multitalented Foster Wilson describes herself as compassionate, creative, nerdy, and weird.
I wanted to share Foster’s conversation on coming back to her why and her values. She says that she sees values as a filtration system. There’s 4 areas that she asks about while deciphering if something aligns with her values: connection, growth, self-expression, and freedom. Foster considers herself an extrovert, so connection is really important to her. If she’s able to make a meaningful connection, whether it be with a person or within a project, then she knows it’s beneficial to her values. She also wants to expand in all aspects of life, which is where growth comes in. She’ll ask herself, “Will this help me grow?” Although it can be intimidating to try new things, if it will help you grow, then it’s worth taking the risk on, so I think this is a great question to ask in these situations, especially if that is something of value to you.
Self-expression is also important to Foster as a creative person. Growing up, she wanted to be an actress but eventually ended up behind the camera as a director, giving her more creative control. If something is going to allow her to express herself, especially in a creative way, then she knows it aligns with herself and her values. Lastly is freedom, something we all want. There’s many layers to the word freedom itself, but in Foster’s case, she is referring to the freedom to try new things and the freedom of time. She doesn’t want to be anchored down by the same old things, so she keeps an open mind for opportunities that make it through her filtration system of values. I think this is a great way of thinking about it because it is helpful to have some type of question in your mind as to what you’ll allow into your life and what you won’t. No matter what process you use in your mind to make decisions, knowing that they align with your why can make you feel more confident, knowing it is best for you.
When it comes to following your heart, you have to be okay with living out of your own expectations rather than someone else’s. Foster says you should disappoint everyone else before ever disappointing yourself, and I agree completely. Of course we want people to be proud of us, but we need to be the most proud of ourselves. It’s been a theme lately on our podcast that it’s your life and no one else’s to live. You always have a choice, and it’s you making the decisions and living with the consequences of them, so be sure it aligns with yourself.
Foster has one of those voices that is perfect for podcasting, it’s soft and relaxing but the content of what she is saying is so important that you can’t help but hold on to every word. I look forward to seeing what she accomplishes in the future with her creativity and sense of self.
Ways to Engage: Create your own criteria/filtration system for your why and your values (think of connection, growth, self-expression, and freedom as examples). You can also write it down to see how it changes over time. Use this whenever you have an important decision to make or are questioning if something aligns with your why.