Episode 24 - Sisterhood Through Survival: How Deana Lynn & Lizzie Jane Turned Pain Into Purpose

By Jessica Garrison

Episode trigger warning: abuse

We have a double feature today with two amazing guests we have met recently. Deana Lynn and Lizzie Jane have a podcast together called Surviving Toxic Relationships, where they discuss what brought them together and have guests to share their own experiences. Deana describes herself as energetic, extroverted, empathetic, and motivated, while Lizzie describes herself as resilient, compassionate, empowering, and wise.

The history between Deana and Lizzie is further explained by them in the episode, but in short, the two of them were married to the same man who did not treat them the way they deserved. He had narcissistic behaviors and abusive tendencies, but they were able to overcome this trauma and create something beautiful together. They want to support other women in living unapologetically just as they have for each other. I had chills when Lizzie recalled looking over at Deana and saying, “we’re going to tell our story to the world.” She knew that other women needed to know the signs and what to watch out for when meeting a man like their ex-husband—there was even a 3rd woman involved in the situation, proving their point further that these resources are necessary.  

Deana shares how she felt guilty for not warning Lizzie of her ex-husband’s behavior ahead of time, but her son eventually encouraged her to reach out to Lizzie, knowing how kind and understanding of a woman she is. Deana says it was a very validating experience for her, able to talk to someone who can truly understand what she had been through. It also validated Lizzie’s gut feeling, which is so important to remember. Always trust your gut or your intuition. It’s been happening a lot in my life personally where me or a friend have had a gut feeling we listened to and it paid off. I’m always urging people to listen to that voice inside because she does know best.

It’s incredible to hear these stories from women who have turned such a negative experience into something so magical. They’re lucky to have had each other through this experience, but they know not everyone is as lucky. Their podcast is to not only tell their story but to allow others to learn and to tell theirs.

Deana reminds us to let that ex go and focus on yourself. Uncover your layers and get to know the real you, not the one that was buried underneath the narcissist for so many years. Lizzie says, “The layers don’t make me complicated, they make me whole,” and I don’t think there’s a better quote from the episode. No matter what happens, you have yourself. The rest will follow.

Ways to Engage: Name some things you like about yourself. Not how others make you feel or what others like about you. Focus on who you are, what you value in yourself, and remember to be your own biggest supporter.

Resources: 

The Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness (Education & Action)

National Domestic Violence Hotline: call 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788