Episode 23 - Boundaries That Build You: A Conversation with Briana Bowley

By Jessica Garrison

Episode trigger warning: eating disorder

Our next guest joins us from Australia as she reflects upon our talking points and shares her experiences through them. Briana Bowley describes herself as innovative, driven, and inspired. 

Briana was a competitive body builder for a long time, and this has given her new ways to look at and appreciate her journey. Briana used to think she was the problem, burning herself out by pushing through and overworking. Eventually, she listened to the whisper within herself and slowed down; she was curious of another way of living, which opened doors for her to explore. We always talk about curiosity and how important that is in a person’s embracing layers journey, and Briana just further proves our point. 

Boundaries have been the most difficult part for Briana, but she says she has been building up her strength for them. She made a great comparison between lifting weights and boundaries. You can’t walk into a gym on day one and expect to lift the heaviest weights in the building. You start small and build up your muscle until you’re able to do it safely and effectively. The same goes for boundaries. Briana says that she started small and built up to setting stronger boundaries and by doing this, she’s gotten better at setting and keeping those boundaries. This is true with so many things, so we have to remember to give ourselves grace and patience. Results won’t happen overnight, but if you continue to work at it, you can only get better.

While further discussing boundaries, Briana told a story that I think is helpful for anyone to hear, and it also clears up the different types of conflict we can have. Briana shared that she was getting her eyebrows done one time and she wasn’t really happy with the results. There was one of two things she could do: she could tell the woman she’s unhappy and have them fixed, or she could not say anything and go home. This is the external conflict versus the internal. External being she says something and internal being she keeps it to herself. She ended up giving feedback to the woman who thanked her, glad that she could improve upon her work. We have a hard time, especially as women, giving criticism even if it’s constructive because we don’t want to seem rude. But the truth is, people like to hear the feedback so they don’t make the same mistake twice. As long as you’re telling them in a respectful, kind way, then there’s no reason you should hold back your feelings. 

Briana is such an impressive young woman who has more lessons and eye-opening analogies to share. If you took something away from the blog, then there’s even more to take away from the episode. Dive into our episode with Briana further and get to love her like we have.

Ways to Engage: Next time you’re faced with a decision for an internal/external conflict, challenge yourself to have the conversation. Just like with building muscle, start small and work your way up to the more difficult conversations.

Resources: 

National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA)

National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (ANAD)