Episode 22 - Self Care, Reinvention, and Living Unfiltered with Kara Vaval
By Jessica Garrison
We have another crossover this week with Kara Vaval, host of the Unfiltered podcast. Melissa was on her podcast in the episode “How to F.E.E.L Your Way to Freedom with Melissa Crook.” Kara is unhinged, unenamored, motivational, and inspirational. She is also the queen of reinventing herself, and she knows when it’s time to do that.
Self-care is where it all starts for Kara. It’s a way of letting herself know she matters and is worth the time to put into herself. A lot of women tend to get hung up on the self-care portion of their journey because they believe it to be selfish or they don’t think they have time. The truth is that sometimes you just have to block out time in your calendar to get your self-care practices done, but it shouldn’t feel like you’re just checking items off your list. Whatever nourishes your soul or makes you feel more relaxed should be part of your self-care routine, but it’s also okay if you need different things on different days. One of Kara’s nonnegotiables is a workout in the morning. Having these nonnegotiables also help you reinstate your boundaries, allowing you to practice saying, “no, this is a nonnegotiable for me and I can’t skip it.” Whatever you value should be protected, and you yourself are valuable.
Kara also expresses the role that journaling plays in her self-care routine, allowing herself to freely unleash her thoughts onto the page. You don’t have to be a good writer to take time to write about your day, your emotions, or whatever you want to utilize your journal for. Kara loves and values herself, though she didn’t start off feeling this way. It took time and dedication to help her reach where she is now, and she has had many versions of herself to learn from and appreciate. She works to understand her experiences, paying the price so others don’t have to do it. It’s why she began the work she does now—to support others while reminding them that they are not alone. You don’t have to suffer through these experiences, not knowing which direction to go in. Too many women have had to stumble around blindly until they found what they were looking for, and Kara wants to put that to an end.
The last thing I wanted to touch on from this episode is Kara’s emphasized expression of the importance of making sure you are in the driver’s seat for your life. We’ve heard this from a few other guests this season, so it is essential to understand that you only get one life to live, and you should be living it for yourself. At the end of the day, you are the one making the decisions you will have to live with, so make sure it’s actually what you want. Kara does a great job of explaining living out of her own expectations rather than others’ with this piece, just like she does the other talking points.
If there’s ever going to be someone you value in life, make sure your name is at the top of the list. Make yourself proud and live your truth out loud. You deserve it.
Ways to Engage: Think of something you want as nonnegotiable in your self care practices. Is it having coffee by yourself in the morning? Is it a workout? Find something that nourishes your soul and weave it into your daily life. Pay attention to how it affects you or makes you feel.