Episode 26 -Fertility, Empowerment, Healthy Boundaries & Reproductive Education with Bilge Apak Sato and Valerie Kvita

By Jessica Garrison

We have double the guests for this episode which means double the fun and double the amazement! We are featuring Bilge Apak Sato and Valerie Kvita, who are based in Switzerland. Bilge describes herself as an empathetic and passionate advocate who feels a lot. Similarly, Valerie describes herself as empathetic, curious, and enthusiastic. 

Bilge and Valerie’s work involves fertility, a conversation that is prevalent in so many of our lives but isn’t talked about as such. Whether it be a couple trying to get pregnant, a woman who is already a mother, or a teenager figuring out sex for the first time, fertility is a necessary topic, And this doesn’t only include women. Men are just as involved with fertility or infertility as women are, but again, these areas aren’t discussed as much. Each of our talking points are crucial to this conversation, but Confidently Setting Healthy Boundaries was the one that stuck out to me the most in its traits and relevance. 

Trying to get pregnant is one of the most vulnerable stages of life, Bilge says, and boundaries online can change your whole experience with this. When you’re going through something sensitive, there’s no controlling what someone else may say or post that’s triggering for you. For myself, I use a social media time limit on my phone so after a certain amount of time scrolling, it stops me. This can be especially helpful while experiencing something delicate, or even if you find yourself on your phone too much doomscrolling. You can also block specific words that may be triggering. Valerie emphasizes that it is your mind, your body, your life. If you don’t take care of yourself and put yourself first, then who will? 

The work that Bilge and Valerie offer is all about information and education, allowing people to make an informed decision of what they want to do. Together they created The Tiny Pea, “a fertility education platform,” along with their book I Am Magic: The Ultimate Fertility Workbook for Empowerment, Choice, & Self-Love on Amazon. Even if you think it’s too early or too late, you can still purchase the workbook and refer to it when applicable. 

You can tell just by listening to these women speak how important this topic is for them and how much passion they feel for the cause. Their intelligence, drive, and sensitivity make them such powerful women who are actively changing the world, and we’re so thankful we were able to share their story with you.   

Ways to Engage:  Educate yourself on a topic that you are unfamiliar with, even if you think it doesn’t apply to you. For example, if you’re a man, educate yourself on a female sport’s team, or vice versa. Challenge yourself to consume information and become more well-rounded on subjects you may not have thought important before. 

Episode 25 -​Pause Before You Say “Yes”: The Secret to Stronger Boundaries with Melissa Crook

By Jessica Garrison

We talked last week about saying “No” without overexplaining, which leads us perfectly into The Power of the Pause Before Giving a “Yes” conversation with Melissa. When we are living in our people pleaser world, we get used to saying yes as soon as someone asks us for a favor. It isn’t until later that we think about it and regret saying “yes.” There is great power in the pause, giving yourself time to consider what you want before answering in a way that they want. 

I think it’s a lot easier to say “no” the first time, rather than saying “yes” and trying to figure a way out of it later. Not only does it put you in an uncomfortable position, but it also does an injustice to the person asking the question. After your response, they can ask someone else who has the time or bandwidth without worrying if they actually mean yes or no. Your time and energy are valuable, though we don’t always treat them as much. It’s important to take a minute, consider the pros and cons, then make a proper decision based on that. Imagine if you said “yes” out of kindness to something you didn’t want to do, but then you have to say “no” to something you did want to do because of that prior engagement. When you say “yes” to something, you are saying “no” to something else, so make sure you’re accepting the things you want. 

When people ask me something, I say, “Let me check my schedule,” even if I know what my schedule already looks like. I want to take the time to look over the week, consider the possibilities, and give an answer after the fact. If I want to do something, I’ll give them a strong consideration and say I will confirm with you later. It keeps open the possibility that you have something else going on, and that is okay, too. If you don’t, you get back to them with a firm yes. If you want to say no, then you say, “I can’t, but maybe another time.” Leave the long-winded explanation out of the answer, and you can be confident in that answer because you took the time to consider what you wanted. 

This topic ties into so many of our past conversations, particularly surrounding boundaries and expectations. If you’re the type of person to always say “yes,” people will be more likely to come to you for favors. You still have the right to say “no” to whatever you like, but it becomes more difficult because, let’s face it, it’s nice when people depend on us. We feel wanted and important, but you have to have those boundaries with others as well as yourself. Dig deeper into your soul and maybe ask, why do you always feel the need to say yes? And why do you need to say it right away? Consider these questions along with the ways to engage and give yourself that power of the pause. 

Ways To Engage:  Before saying yes or no to someone, wait 24 hours. Consider your options and formulate how you want to tell that person. Remember, don’t overexplain. Your feelings are valid, so be sure you’re doing right by them and yourself by accepting and declining what you want to.  

Join Melissa LIVE on our Substack (https://substack.com/@thefeelpodcast) for this week's Empowerment Tuesday conversation at 8 am PST/11 am EST. You can also catch it later in the day on your favorite podcast platforms.

✨ Free Download: Embracing a FEEL Fueled Life Sample Freebie

✨ Ready for deeper support? Visit our website to schedule a complimentary 30 minute session or learn more about Living Out The FEEL Framework with Melissa

Episode 24 -The Truth About Skin Health, Inflammaging, and Beauty Industry Myths with Dr. Ebru Karpuzoglu

By Jessica Garrison

We are so lucky to feature our next guest, Dr. Ebru Karpuzoglu. She is hyper, headstrong, and loves challenges. Melissa also says she has a humble confidence in her. Wherever she goes, people meet her and want to tell her their stories, but this time, we get to hear hers. 

Ebru’s work includes skin wellness and she tells us about the many factors that can affect your skin. She uses the term inflammaging, inflammation and aging together, because of the inflammation that wears down your body and your skin that causes you to look older than you actually are. Chronic inflammation can also occur with constantly high cortisol levels causing this, and Ebru has the scientific research to back up her claims. However, people were not necessarily taking her information to heart because she had published research papers rather than a book. So she created her book, Empire of Mirrors: Exposé of Beauty Untold, as a new way for people to see her research on skin health. Her work is fascinating to me because I love discussing skin care, and Ebru shares more than just what’s on the surface.

I admire Ebru because her goal has always been to convey the truth and it is what she continues to do. We see a lot of marketing manipulation, especially in the world of makeup and skincare. Rather than letting people fall victim to whatever the big companies are serving up, Ebru has put her work into a book that can be read by anyone and allow a person to make an informed decision before they purchase a product. The system was not built for women, so we have to build our own system that works for us, and within this system, Ebru welcomes everyone to the table. She especially likes to support women-owned businesses because of the competition mindset that many women are brought up with. Everyone has something to contribute and is a necessary part of the conversation.  Ebru says that “her success doesn’t diminish mine.” A lot of times there are no or only a few women in the room, so we feel like there aren’t as many positions for us, so we have to compete with each other for them. But that is not true at all. We should be lifting each other up, defending one another, and questioning why there aren’t more women in the room. The enemy is the patriarchy, not other women. 

Ebru has her own website that features her skin care products, frequent concerns or questions, and a quiz you can take to see what fits best for your skin. Your skin is a huge indicator of your health, so this is a topic that I think everyone could use more education on. It isn’t vain or selfish to take care of yourself in all areas of your life. 

Ways to Engage:  Get curious about marketing techniques or cues that seem manipulative. Are they trying to get you to compare yourself to others? Are they trying to uplift everyone rather than pulling someone else down to look better? Are they being transparent with their work? Start with the beauty industry and continue to expand to all media to become more aware of manipulation in marketing.

Episode 23 -No More Overexplaining: Why "No" Is a Complete Sentence with Melissa Crook

By Jessica Garrison

When you say “no” to someone’s request, do you feel the need to give a long, drawn out explanation as to why you gave that answer? Whether it’s a legitimate reason or you just felt like saying no? If this sounds like you, keep reading! We’ve had so many guests bring this up in the past, with Melissa even saying she used to be the overexplaining champion of the world. It’s so important we keep having this conversation, so we continue our empowerment Tuesdays as Melissa discusses No More Overexplaining : “No” is a Complete Sentence. We want everyone to be able to say “no” without the explanation after. The answer of “yes” or “no” should be enough.

This goes side by side with boundaries, and it can be difficult when you finally start saying “no” to people to not give excuse after excuse as to why you can’t. Set the boundary within yourself that you won’t explain when you say “no,” you will just add the period to the end. The people in your life who respect you rather than what you can do for them will accept your answer, and these are some of the best people to have in your life. It’s inspiring to see each other in action, and you can be each other’s “accountability partner” along the way. 

I think the most important lesson to take from this is the understanding that you, as well as your time, are valuable. You shouldn’t have to explain to someone why you can or cannot do something, but the battle is usually within ourselves. Most of the time, the other person isn’t even looking for an explanation as to why you said “no,” but they are just looking for an answer. We make up a lot of narratives in our heads that aren't necessarily true, so we need to take a moment and return to reality when we start to tell ourselves a different story. If people aren’t used to this behavior, there might be some push back, but remember your strength and stand by your boundaries; you set them for a reason. 

It might be a process to get there, but it’s totally worth it, so just keep that end result in the back of your mind when practicing. If this is something you feel you need extra support with, Melissa is available for sessions to connect with your personal story or situation. Join us Tuesdays at 2 PM EST/11 AM PST for Melissa’s live empowerment episodes and comment any questions you may have for her. Start putting yourself first. You deserve it. 

Ways To Engage:  Next time you say no to something, leave it at that. Reflect on what you would have said when overexplaining and why you maybe would have said that. Is there something deeper going on internally? Are there layers that still need to be embraced or uncovered? 

Join Melissa LIVE on our Substack (https://substack.com/@thefeelpodcast) for this week's Empowerment Tuesday conversation. You can also catch it later in the day on your favorite podcast platforms.

✨ Free Download: Embracing a FEEL Fueled Life Sample Freebie

✨ Ready for deeper support? Visit our website to schedule a complimentary 30 minute session or learn more about Living Out The FEEL Framework with Melissa

Episode 22 -Living Your Purpose: Faith, Family, Legacy & Authentic Growth with Eileen Noyes

By Jessica Garrison

Eileen Noyes is a guest who connected with us through email, and her story as well as her work align with us so perfectly. She is a patient, flexible, and encouraging go-getter.

Eileen’s why and values are wrapped in 3 big things: honoring God, living out His purpose, and understanding the importance of legacy. She has 8 children of her own and her husband has 7 of his own, so legacy is very important to her. It’s about making sure that her children are growing up with everything they need to take on the world with the same compassion, drive, and awareness that Eileen has. The second part of her why is to honor God and whatever His purpose for her may be. She says that she used to have a shopping addiction, but it served no purpose for any of these values and was more about materialistic items than the experience. She doesn’t want to waste time on things that won’t matter in a few years or even a few weeks. Instead, she puts her effort towards these 3 things and the rest comes along with it. When you truly live out of your why and your values, everything else starts to make sense.  

In terms of her expectations, Eileen thinks to herself, who am I really? I think this ties in beautifully with her values because if you are truly living out your values like Eileen is, then the  expectations of others don’t affect you as much. Eileen is anchored in who she is, with a thick skin and forgiving heart, which are some of the best tools to bring with you on your journey. She says that we waste a lot of time defending ourselves when people become judgmental, but they will think what they want to think at the end of the day anyway. People will always have opinions, and you truly cannot please everyone, so what’s the sense in trying? The most important person is yourself because it’s your life, so you have to be the one who is happy with it.

Eileen says that we tend to look for evidence of what we’re thinking internally, which I couldn’t agree more with. For example, if you think someone at work hates you, then you subconsciously piece evidence together that proves the theory you made up in your head. Any tone they have might be received as harsh, even if they don’t mean it that way. So make sure the stories you are telling yourself are factual, and it’s better to err on the side of caution in your own mind when it starts being negative. 

There’s a new appreciation Eileen has for life, becoming a healthier version of herself for her own needs and her children’s. It is a version that is genuinely authentic and takes care of herself in addition to others. This is a beautiful episode to showcase how much room there is to grow, even when you think you’ve got it all. Remember that there is a reason and a season for everything, so there’s always the chance to evolve.

Ways to Engage: Name 3 big things that are important to you that you can base your why and your values around like Eileen has. Is it family? Is it God? Is it a career path? Whatever they may be, remember them in decisions you make, big or small, and see how much richer your life becomes living out of your values every day. 

Episode 21 - Breaking the “I’m Sorry” Habit: What Over-Apologizing Revealed About My Self-Worth, Boundaries, and Healing with Melissa Crook

By Melissa Crook

Before we begin, a quick note from me. Most weeks, our gifted author, Jessica Garrison, writes the blogs that accompany our episodes. But this week's conversation touches on a journey that has been profoundly personal and transformative in my own life. Because of that, I felt called to put the words on the page myself and share this story directly with you. 

How many times a day do you say, "I'm sorry"?

Not because you've done something wrong, but because you've taken up space, asked for what you need, changed your mind, expressed an opinion, or simply existed.

For years, I apologized for things that weren't my fault, responsibility, or burden to carry. It became so automatic that I didn't even realize I was doing it. "I'm sorry" had become a reflex- response so deeply ingrained that I rarely questioned it.

Looking back, I can see how early conditioning taught me that being "too much" was a problem to solve. Somewhere along the way, I learned that other people's comfort mattered more than my own needs, opinions, and boundaries. So I became skilled at minimizing myself, smoothing things over, and apologizing for things that never required an apology.

The turning point came much later in life when I began paying closer attention to my inner dialogue. What I discovered surprised me. Beneath the surface was a pattern I had carried for decades; one that was quietly shaping how I showed up in relationships, conversations, decisions, and even the way I moved through the world.

What I didn't know then was that breaking the "I'm sorry" habit would lead me to uncover something even deeper.

It wasn't just about the words.

It was about self-value.

It was about boundaries.

It was about permission.

And it was about learning that my existence is not an inconvenience.

The process of changing this habit wasn't easy, but it transformed the way I communicate, advocate for myself, and navigate relationships. Along the way, I also discovered another behavior that often travels hand-in-hand with chronic apologizing, one that many women struggle with without even realizing it.

In this week's Empowerment Tuesday episode of The FEEL Podcast, I'll share the surprising ways over-apologizing shows up in everyday life, where it often comes from, and some of the tools that helped me begin rewriting the story.

You may recognize yourself in more of this conversation than you expect.

Ways To Engage:  This week, pay attention to how often you say "I'm sorry."

Are you actually apologizing for something you've done wrong?

Or are you apologizing for having needs, taking up space, setting a boundary, or simply being human?

You might be surprised by what you discover.

Join me LIVE on our Substack (https://substack.com/@thefeelpodcast) for this week's Empowerment Tuesday conversation. You can also catch it later in the day on your favorite podcast platforms. Either way, I have a feeling it's one you won't want to miss.

✨ Free Download: Embracing a FEEL Fueled Life Sample Freebie

✨ Ready for deeper support? Visit our website to schedule a complimentary 30 minute session or learn more about Living Out The FEEL Framework with Melissa

Episode 20 -Finding Peace Through Trauma, Healing & Community with Malisa Hepner

By Jessica Garrison

Episode trigger warnings: Trauma, substance abuse  

Through Podmatch, we have met our next guest Malisa Hepner. She is an embodied, real, compassionate, and messy woman. Malisa emphasizes the importance of community throughout her episode, which just solidified even further how perfect she is to guest with us. There are some triggering elements to her story, but all of them have shaped her into who she is now and are part of her layers. However, there are resources below and on our website for anyone who may need them. 

While discussing supporting women in living unapologetically, Malisa says that she has found peace within herself. There is no final destination for this, as it is an ongoing journey to learn about yourself and experience what it is you need to feel that peace. It looks different for everyone, but this concept can be applied universally as you work towards embracing your own layers. With Malisa, she had a call to the deepest parts of herself, admitting when she was afraid, nervous, or feeling stuck. When she would tell stories from her past, there was a disconnect between herself and the words because of all the trauma that surrounded it. Through her journey, she has learned to live her life proudly, saying that it is so profound to find peace. Malisa wants to bring this message of hope to other women that no matter what they’ve gone through, they can find peace, too. 

In living out FEEL, Malisa says that she is clear about community, which ties into her values and why she loves supporting other women through this work. She has worked to release expectations, just as we all should, because no one is perfect. We all mess up eventually, but it’s how you take those mistakes and use them as a foundation to build yourself back up. Don’t live in regret, but take it as a learning opportunity. For example, Malisa says that she has learned not to take things personally, because everyone has their own journey they have to go on and you cannot hold responsibility for everyone. This has helped her have more of an awareness for what feelings are coming up and when, which helps her stay true to her heart and her body. She can separate what she is feeling from the emotional load she may be taking from others. The connection is all there, but it’s just about which direction you start in. 

 Malisa hosts her own podcast, Emotionally Unavailable, where she speaks with guests about a variety of topics that link back to loving and appreciating herself. What began as a journey to become more emotionally aware has led Malisa to where she is today: full of love, stability, and peace. Where will yours lead? 

Ways to Engage: Make the connection between your emotions and your physical body. Malisa connected overthinking to having pain in her back. When you start to tense up or feel that uncomfortability, get to the root of the problem rather than just treating the surface. Do you have a headache because you haven’t been sleeping well or nourishing yourself properly? Are you feeling under the weather because you’ve stretched yourself too thin with your schedule? Learn to let your body and mind fall in sync and pay attention to what it’s trying to tell you. 

Additonal Resources: 

• Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

  • Call or Text 988

Episode 19 - Living Out The FEEL Framework with Melissa Crook: Women’s Empowerment, Self-Worth & Authentic Healing

By Jessica Garrison

We continue our empowerment journey with Melissa Crook as she discusses Living Out The FEEL Framework - In Summary. This framework embodies the resources you need in order to live your healthiest, most authentic life. Not only do we want to see everyone live out FEEL, but we want to see women supporting other women in doing so as well. Once you live out The FEEL Framework, you’ll be surprised at how much your community grows around you with like-minded people who want to see you succeed. 

The FEEL Framework is about identifying who you are unapologetically, without the expectations, thoughts, or societal standards that other people may put on you. It includes addressing each part of your wellness, rather than just focusing on one specific area or only taking care of yourself at a surface level. It’s helpful in setting healthy boundaries around your time and who you give it to. Your time is so valuable, and you should treat it as such. Remember that it’s okay to say no to things you don’t want to do; this only leaves more room for you to say yes to what you actually want. Accept and embrace all of your beautiful, complex layers, showing yourself love, empathy, and grace while still holding yourself accountable for your actions. All of this within The FEEL Framework gives us a sense of renewal, a start towards a new life where we can actually thrive.  

We’ve created a supportive and impactful community where you can hear true stories in real time, while utilizing the resources provided to educate and heal yourself. This work is contagious, and when others see you living out The FEEL Framework, they are inspired to begin it themselves and support those around them in doing the same. It’s a cycle of positivity rather than toxicity, and you become a role model without even realizing it. It might feel strange to put yourself first after so long of being last on your list, but don’t wallow in the guilt, you are worth prioritizing. 

From now on, Melissa will be live on Substack every Tuesday at 2 PM EST/11 AM PST with our one on one empowerment episodes where everyone is invited to ask questions, comment, share what they’ve been learning, and talk about their experiences. Even if you are unable to tune in live, anyone can comment on our posts after they have been posted for up to 3 months. After that, you can become a paid subscriber to have access to anything older than those 3 months. Although Thursday episodes won’t be produced in Substack at this time, the link of where to watch them will be posted in the comments of the blog each week. Next time, join us live!

Ways To Engage:  Focus on prioritizing yourself. Whether it be with your time, with your talent/abilities, or with your emotional limits, prioritize what you need. Say yes to what you truly want to say yes to and say no to things you don’t want. Only you can make the decisions for yourself, so make sure they align with who you are and who you want to be. 

✨ Free Download: Embracing a FEEL Fueled Life Sample Freebie

✨ Ready for deeper support? Visit our website to schedule a complimentary 30 minute session or learn more about Living Out The FEEL Framework with Melissa

Episode 18 -Emotional Regulation & Nervous System Healing: How to Stop Shrinking Yourself with Jessica Vanrose

By Jessica Garrison

Our next guest is from the podcast Life After Trauma, which Melissa guested on last year. Now we get to flip the script and host Jessica Vanrose, who interviewed Melissa in the two part episode called Choosing You: Self-Care, Boundaries, and Breaking the Good Girl Script. Jessica is a thoughtful, present, intuitive, and passionate woman. 

The talking point of taking care of all aspects of your health was a highlight of the episode. It felt like every word Jessica was saying, I kept nodding along, agreeing with all of the wisdom she had to share. She says that emotional health is not about “fixing” every feeling. We’ve talked before about how feelings can arise at the most inconvenient times, but that doesn’t mean you push them down and never think of them again. Jessica will tell herself, “I see you, and I will come back to you when I have capacity.” Acknowledge the emotion, then do a check in with yourself when you do have the capacity for it. Even going for a short walk helps Jessica open her mind and move the emotions through her body. This may work for you, or you can try some other ways to help you keep up with all of your emotions. Either way, make sure you are acknowledging past emotions that you may not have before so it doesn’t fester and come back stronger than ever. 

Another great quote from Jessica is, “Regulation is better than resolution.” Sometimes it is better to regulate your emotions and nervous system rather than searching for an impossible solution. Things are going to come up, and how you prepare yourself will determine how you handle them with your mind and body. This is why her method is so powerful, it keeps her nervous system regulated.  

When it comes to her layers, Jessica has been self-monitoring them and how she embraces them. She says that she would present herself in a specific way for a specific place, rather than just authentically being herself with wherever she was or whoever she was with. After going through her journey, she now is herself in each space, something that you never realize is so freeing until you actually do it. Accepting her layers has also helped her feel gratitude without forcing it. She says it’s “permission over prescription.” You can’t prescribe the same thing over and over again in different spaces, hoping for different results. If you give yourself permission to just be authentic, then you will find your people in any space and feel grateful for it. 

Something so important to take away from this episode is to not shrink yourself. Be your authentic self every single day, celebrating your accomplishments and celebrating yourself. There is so much we do in a day, a week, and even a year that we never stop to appreciate. It’s not selfish or bragging, but it’s acknowledging how far you’ve come and how many more possibilities there are for you. Once you untap the ability to live out FEEL, there’s nothing that can stand in your way. 

Ways to Engage: Next time you are in a situation where you have strong feelings but might not be able to express them, say to yourself, “I acknowledge these feelings. I will revisit them when I have the capacity.” Don’t just say this, but actually revisit them. At the end of the day or when you do have the capacity to feel all of your emotions, check in with yourself, and work through them properly. Practice this until it comes naturally, and always make sure you are taking care of yourself as you do this. 

Episode 17 - Self Care, Healing & Authentic Living: A Guide to Women’s Empowerment with Melissa Crook

By Jessica Garrison

We are experimenting a little bit with the blog this week, because as of right now, I have yet to listen to the episode. This is because Melissa is starting to record her one on one empowerment episodes live and posting the recording straight from the new Substack Recording Studio. So this week we are discussing Living Out FEEL (Finding Empowerment, Embracing Layers) and using it in your everyday life. 

Living out FEEL is a way to enhance your life and the relationships around you. Once you learn to accept and embrace your layers, then this becomes easier to do with the people in your life. We’ve heard while discussing self care that you have to fill your own cup to be able to pour into others, and the same goes for this talking point. People seeing you live out FEEL encourages them to do it as well, especially once they see you thriving as your healthiest, most authentic self. It’s a journey that only you can choose to go on, but once you get started, it’s nice to have that support and community. 

So how do you live out FEEL? We live it by taking care of ourselves, refilling our cup, and checking in with ourselves every day to make sure we are doing what is needed for that particular day. Set healthy boundaries, standing by them when people try to push us past our limits. Remember to take care of all areas of health, including mental, physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual. Support yourself and other women in living unapologetically. Live out your why and your values, allowing them to guide you in the decisions you make, big and small. Live out of your own expectations, not the expectations of society, the culture, or those around you. Find acceptance in and embrace your layers, all the parts of yourself that make up who you are: the past, the present, and the future. Continue living each day as your healthiest, most authentic self surrounded by those who fill their own cup in addition to yours. Pour into each other and be each other’s guiding light. All of these things work together to live out FEEL, just like how they are interconnected with each other. 

I’ll leave this blog with some of Melissa’s words that are crucial to remember: “You are worthy, you are valuable, and you get to choose.”

Ways To Engage: Revisit our past solo empowerment episodes with Melissa (https://www.embracinglayers.com/podcast - look at season 9 & 10), the talking points, and the Ways to Engage. Think of them carefully and answer honestly, seeing what areas you’re more comfortable in and which ones you need more work on. Remember that there is an  Embracing a FEEL Fueled Life freebie down below and you can schedule a complimentary 30 minute session with Melissa herself for extra help.

✨ Free Download: Embracing a FEEL Fueled Life Sample Freebie

✨ Ready for deeper support? Visit our website to schedule a complimentary 30 minute session or learn more about Living Out of Your Own Expectations with Melissa

Episode 16 -Breaking the Silence on Abuse, Healing, Boundaries & Self-Worth with Tiffiny Newton

By Jessica Garrison

Trigger warnings: abuse, self-harm

Our next guest is a woman who’s determined to help other women see the best in themselves and break their silence, all of which becomes clear when you start listening to our episode with Tiffiny Newton. Her story has some triggering topics, but they are important to talk about nonetheless. Be sure to take care of yourself while listening and refer to our resources if needed. 

Tiffiny described not utilizing self care as “death by a thousand cuts.” She was isolated and not taking care of herself as she needed after being in an abusive relationship. The first step to healing was understanding abuse, which is a common misconception among many people in this world. Abuse is not necessarily broken bones or bruises, which we have discussed frequently on our platform, particularly in our book club with Gasping for Air. Tiffiny said that she made excuses, like it was just a fight or she was overreacting, but she has come to terms with it in order to heal. She says it’s scary, but it’s also empowering to realize it, name it, and speak up. 

She reasoned that if she “did better” in the relationship, things would get better in turn, and that’s a narrative put into a lot of abuse victims’ heads. They put all of their energy into becoming someone that they think their partner wants them to be so they won’t have to experience anymore hurt, but the truth is there is no making them happy. It was to the point where Tiffiny was self-harming, just to see what was real. For Tiffiny to leave, she had to be strategic with her planning, another misconception people have from abusive relationships. Sometimes you can’t “just leave.” It isn’t always safe to do that, but we hope these conversations can help move things forward for women so they have resources available and ways that they can safely leave an abusive situation. 

After leaving this relationship, Tiffiny needed to revisit her boundaries after experiencing a relationship where her sense of them had been repeatedly disregarded. Ultimately, you hurt yourself when you don’t have boundaries because you’re basically letting everyone else decide where your boundaries are based on theirs. Without boundaries, it’s harder to decide who’s toxic in your life because they will show themselves by how they react or adjust to your boundary setting. 

Tiffiny has her own book, Behind the Smile, written with her experiences as “a guide for friends and family members who suspect their loved one may be trapped in a controlling or abusive relationship.” Let this be a reminder to you that you deserve to be treated with the utmost respect and live in a safe, healthy way. If this doesn’t sound like your life, then please reach out or visit the resources page for more information. Be kind to yourself as well as others—you never know what someone is going through.

Ways to Engage: Take some time to appreciate yourself and track your daily wins. Look back at where you used to be and look at where you are now, and how far you’ve come. Allow yourself to feel proud because we never take enough of these moments. Life is hard, and you have come a long way. There may be more ways to go, but it’s important we realize all of the progress we have made and acknowledge the strength it took to get there.

Resources: 

• Mental Health/Self-Harm

  • Call 988

  • Text 988

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Episode 15 - Authentic Living: Choosing Your Own Path Instead of Others’ Expectations with Melissa Crook

By Jessica Garrison

This week with Melissa Crook, we are discussing Living Out of Your Own Expectations Versus Others.’ Expectations are narratives we live by, and they go hand in hand with boundaries. They are the way we design our life, determining events we sign up for, and who we involve in our lives. Whether it’s based on the kind of job we have, relationships we’re in, or even our gender, there are expectations put upon us that we may not even realize. This can also include societal, familial, and cultural expectations that vary greatly from person to person. 

Ask yourself: “What do I care about? What do I expect of myself? What do I want for my life? Who am I?” These questions can seem simple at first, but it’s important to sit with them and be honest with yourself when answering. Sometimes there are things we need to unlearn and relearn, and it can be a lot of pressure to have too much outside input. What’s important to keep in the back of your mind is that you owe it to yourself to live out of your own expectations because it’s your life. You’re the one living it and facing the consequences of it, so make sure it’s worth it to you. 

Another key piece to this is communication. Communicate when you need to make shifts to honor yourself and your own expectations, because people get used to you being a certain way, and they won’t know how to make these shifts with you. We’re not mind readers, so you have to be upfront with your feelings and actions. Have you communicated your expectations or are you expecting people to just know? Remember that, in all areas of life, communication is kind. Communicating what you’re feeling and how you plan to act on it is different from overexplaining to people why you are doing this and offering them a multitude of reasons why. If they care about you, they will respect that you are doing the healthiest thing for you and support that.  

Think about if you decide what your expectations are, or do you allow others to do that for you? Have others informed this with or without your permission? It may be difficult to make these types of changes in your life, especially when everyone gets used to the usual routine. Making waves isn’t ideal, but you have to make your own choices and live out of your own expectations. Otherwise, you might turn around in a few years and realize it was someone else’s life you were living. Stay consistent, and remember that it’s worth it if you are being true to yourself. You are worth the time, the energy, and you are worth honoring. 

Ways To Engage: Identify activities that nourish you, name your character traits, and describe who you are. Does your calendar reflect this? Do your actions and activities align with who you are? Or does this come from other people? Take time to sit with this, analyze, and be honest with yourself. Remember to also be patient with yourself on this journey because it isn’t easy to undo a lot of the learnings we’ve had. You get to choose to live your own life the way you want to live it.

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✨ Ready for deeper support? Visit our website to schedule a complimentary 30 minute session or learn more about Living Out of Your Own Expectations with Melissa

Episode 14 -Financial Empowerment for Women: Build Confidence, Master Your Money Mindset & Redefine Wealth with Irina Helm

By Jessica Garrison

Earlier this year, we had Angela Iacobellis on The FEEL Podcast. We now have the wonderful opportunity to feature her business partner, Irina Helm, who describes herself as rich, authentic, chronically creative, and empathetic. 

When Irina says she is rich, she doesn’t necessarily mean in the sense of money, which we tend to think of when we hear that word. She is rich in culture, rich with the experiences and feelings shared by those around her. She has lived all around the world, including the Soviet Union, Germany, and Israel, which are very male-dominated, controlled environments. She had to find a way to be herself, live out of her own expectations, and create the life she wanted for herself in a world that has already made a decision for her. For Irina, it’s about being happy with the woman she sees in the mirror, and that is honestly the most important thing. Being happy with yourself doesn’t mean thinking you’re perfect, because nobody is. But Irina knows her strengths and weaknesses, always striving to make progress. We are always growing and evolving, and we are allowed to change or to work towards our goals, however, you can still be happy with who you are and authentically, genuinely love yourself. 

With her background, Irina didn’t know about the specifics of money growing up. It’s something not to be discussed or asked for, and yet we cannot live without money. Many women are not taught about finances, usually relying on a man or husband to take care of the bills. Especially for the older generation, that wasn’t just expected, but it was enforced. Now, women get lost in the world of finances only because they’ve never been introduced to it properly. Irina works to support women in living unapologetically, utilizing their finances to be able to do that. Business was another area where she had to gain knowledge on herself, feeling ashamed or guilty to ask people for the money that she was owed. She quickly realized that there is a false expectation on “The American Dream.” She says, “Retirement is not an age; it’s a lifestyle.” We have this idea in our heads that we will work until a specific age and then retire, without thinking about the future itself. It’s just a stereotype that we work, retire, and then get to do whatever we want with the rest of our lives. However, things are not always set in stone, and Irina supports women in dealing with whatever unexpected speedbumps that may come their way. 

Irina provides not only practical ways to save money in this one hour episode, but she also provides confidence and reassurance. It’s heartening to see and hear about women who are working to change the narrative we have always been told. So many women do it every day without even realizing, and that is what makes the community so rich. 

Ways to Engage: What are some ways you can become more educated with finances? Take a class, reach out to an advisor, or listen to some of our past episodes that feature financial experts, coaches, or advisors. Where are some ways you can save? Start small. Take back your finances and your power. Reach out to us at https://www.embracinglayers.com/contact if you need help finding resources.

Episode 13 - Find Your Why: How to Align Your Life with Your Core Values & Purpose with Melissa Crook

By Jessica Garrison

An essential part of who we are is our why, our purpose, our reasoning. This week, Melissa Crook discusses Coming Back to Your Why & Values to Guide Your Choices and asks the hard hitting, necessary question: “What are your values?” 

We are given a script from a young age of how we should act or what we should strive for. “Success” meant checking off certain things on a list instead of living through your values and your passions. When you look at certain areas of your life, ask “Is this actually what I care about? Does it include what I’m aligned with? Or what I’m passionate about?” If you have no idea how to answer the question, revisit your boundaries. Why did you set them? What were you protecting? What’s important to you and your time? This can help you identify where you need to make shifts or changes, because it’s only natural for your why to change over time. That’s why it’s so important we visit this regularly to ensure that how we are living out our life is truly aligned with us in that moment of time. Life teaches us lessons, we unlearn and relearn things, and we gain new experiences that can affect our why. 

Your why and values gives you a compass, a foundation to operate from. If what you’re doing isn’t in alignment with your why, reassess the situation. We tend to push the uncomfortable feelings down, but we are feeling that way for a reason. Never ignore your feelings, and sit down with yourself to find out what is happening internally. Refer to questions that we ask through the FEEL framework, such as, “What nourishes me? How do I want to FEEL in the next 6 months?” 

There are specific core values that will always be a part of us, but the way that we show them might shift or change. Melissa shares examples of travel, loyalty, and her passion for women. Relationships, family dynamics, knowledge, education, or your work environment are just a few things that may affect your why or how you showcase them over time. Around New Year’s, Melissa says that she will evaluate her why and values, along with other subjects of the FEEL framework. She will check in with herself and make sure she is still living through her passions, and that she feels good about her actions. Spring is another great time to start since we are in the Spring Cleaning mood. We can air out our homes and clean our mind, body, and calendars. Check in with yourself this week and see if you are aligned the way you want to be. Be honest with yourself and live through your values. 

Ways To Engage: If you’re having trouble identifying your why, revisit what activities and causes nourish you, fill your cup, and make you feel alive. Think about those 5 words that describe how you want to FEEL the next 6 months. Where are your values in relation to those? Use those answers to help narrow this down, retire what is no longer true, and usher in what’s healthiest for you. 

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✨ Ready for deeper support? Visit our website to schedule to schedule a complimentary 30 minute session or learn more about Coming Back to Your Why & Your Values with Melissa 

Episode 12 -Self-Leadership for Women: Let Go of Control, Set Boundaries & Heal Without Guilt with Kate Lenihan

By Jessica Garrison

Podmatch has become such an amazing source connecting us with our guests, and we were able to meet Kate Lenihan, our guest this week, through that very medium. She is curious, rounded, empathetic, and known for bringing humor and clarity to deeply emotional conversations. She told Melissa this before being asked for her character traits, so we know this is Kate at her very core. 

Another way we phrase self care is self leadership or self preservation, and Kate sees delegation as a form of self care. Women tend to take on all the projects themselves without asking for help. We’ve heard the phrase if you want something done right, then you need to do it yourself. However, we have to release this mindset that we’re the only ones who can do it or that there’s only one right way of having it done. By releasing some of your responsibilities, you release the load you’re constantly carrying. It is not a weakness to ask for help, but rather it is brave. We cannot always be certain of what the outcome may be, and it is “not your responsibility to control it,” so it’s important to let go of some of those expectations as well. 

In her journey of supporting herself and other women in living unapologetically, Kate worked towards helping women relinquish some of their responsibilities without all of the guilt. She saw so many women struggle with delegating because they felt bad for asking for help or felt they were being bossy by putting someone else in charge of an assignment. Their reasoning was like we just discussed: they didn’t think it would be done right, so if it wasn’t in their hands, then they were even more stressed out about it. Women can be resistant to giving up control, but Kate says that is all part of the boundaries journey. If it isn’t a full body yes, then it’s a full body no. If there is one thing you take from this episode, let it be if it isn’t a full body yes, then it’s a full body no. 

Another part of the episode I feel is important to share is Kate’s discussion of grief and how she lived in it for a long time. She wasn’t properly processing her grief, but rather she was pushing it down and ignoring it each day. This kept bubbling up for Kate, and grief tends to do that at the most inconvenient times. No matter what, it will show itself whether you want it to or not. Eventually your body won’t be able to hold it in anymore and will react however it needs to in order to feel a release. Kate also said that grief is not exclusive to death. You can feel grief in many different areas of your life; it is all encompassing and should not be ignored or compared to others. Your feelings are valid, so don’t dismiss them just because you think someone else may have it worse. We are experiencing the world together and deserve to express our feelings honestly. 

Kate’s episode serves as a great reminder for our talking points and how they can be interpreted in many different ways, showcasing how they have their own sets of layers. I have hardly scratched the surface of this conversation, so I look forward to everyone listening to Kate’s story from her own voice and perspective. 

Ways to Engage: Take inventory of what you do in a day, from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep. What do you do for yourself and what do you do for others? Where are some areas you can ask for help? Delegate some of what you do in a day, even starting small if that’s helpful. Don’t try to carry the world on your own; you are brave when you ask for help. 

Episode 11 - Unapologetic Living: How Women Can Build Confidence, Stop Apologizing & Support Each Other with Melissa Crook

By Jessica Garrison

We continue our empowerment episodes through the talking points with Supporting Yourself & Other Women Unapologetically with host Melissa Crook. Women are constantly apologizing for things that aren’t their fault or for taking up space in a room where they belong, but we need to stop shrinking ourselves into what we think others want us to be and just be ourselves. 

One of the greatest ways you can support other women in living unapologetically is by treating yourself that way first. When you become more connected with yourself and more authentic, it radiates through your interactions with others. You hear the word “vibe” thrown around a lot, and I think someone with good vibes is someone who lives out unapologetic living and supports others in doing that, too. 

Women tend to see other women as competition because social and societal norms have taught us to be against each other. If we’re too busy fighting with each other, then we can’t look at the real issues that affect us in a patriarchal society. Melissa says that we have to get rid of the scarcity mindset because there are enough seats at the table for us. We shouldn’t have to fight to be the one woman in the room—why can’t there be more than one woman in the room at once? This is how we should continue, working together rather than working against one another. A Ruth Bader Ginsberg quote I think of often really puts things into perspective with this conversation: “I’m sometimes asked when there will be enough [women on the Supreme Court], and I say when there are nine. People are shocked. But there’d been nine men, and nobody’s ever raised a question about that.”

Even if you are a man, Melissa shares ways you can support yourself and women in living unapologetically. One example is when you’re in an environment where a woman is speaking and someone interrupts her, stop that person. “I don’t think X wasn’t done speaking yet. Let’s let her finish and then we’ll come back to you.” It doesn’t have to be harsh or rude, but just a reminder that women deserve the same respect as any man who may be in the same room. Help others feel seen and heard, fully listening to them when they’re talking rather than rehearsing in your head what you may say next. It takes time to practice, but it’s your path towards creating deeper connections and making people feel seen. 

In all areas of life, communication is kindness. When we clearly communicate our thoughts, desires, and frustrations, our expectations are more likely to be met. It’s time to start expressing yourself unapologetically and along the way, help others do the same.

If you struggle with this, Melissa is available for extra support to help you connect the dots of your health. 

Ways To Engage: Track how many times this week you say “I’m Sorry” for something that is not actually yours to apologize for? When this happens, consider other language you can use in the place of that.

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Episode 10 -From Burnout to Purpose: Walt Thiessen on Self-Discovery, Mindset Shifts & Personal Growth

By Jessica Garrison

We have another crossover with our guest this week, the creator and host of LOA Today Podcast, Walt Thiessen. He describes himself as kind, curious, and as someone who wants to gather perspectives. Melissa was on LOA Today in May of 2025 in the episode, “Melissa Crook’s Journey to Emotional and Physical Healing.” We don’t typically have men as guests on The FEEL Podcast, but Walt’s story is beneficial to everyone, no matter how you may identify. 

Walt says that he hadn’t set out to do a podcast, but after the 2008 financial crisis affected his life, he was looking elsewhere to put his time and efforts. It was in 2012 that he started doing an interview-based podcast, before the tools were even readily available. He worked in IT previously, so he was able to tap his phone in order to record the conversations between him and his guest. There weren’t podcasts being held on Zoom or Streamyard like we do now; Skype didn’t even have a recording option while on a call, but he didn’t let this dissuade him. Walt is a trailblazer in the podcast world, finding it through his search of life. He was burnt out from tech work and asked himself, “What is my passion?” But he didn’t have an answer. 

The podcast was a major path towards discovering these passions, acting as an energy boost for him. It aligned with his values as someone who is interested in gaining other perspectives and it supported his self care, continuing to refuel him. He has become a more curious person through this experience, getting to speak with different people and their differing opinions. If you agree on every little thing, then the conversation is easy and you’re just nodding along with each other. However, when someone has an opinion that is different from yours, then the conversation creates a deeper connection. What has brought us together? What’s our common point? It’s healthy to be exposed to something you hadn’t thought about before or to hear a new perspective. It’s what helps us grow. 

Walt describes an exercise he did with a mirror for his nonstop mind, and it helped his self-esteem in the long run. He did this exercise consistently for 50 days, realizing just how hard he was on himself around day 20. It takes time, energy, and persistence, but you will see results eventually. The kinder you are to yourself, the kinder you are to others. Show yourself the same patience, grace, and forgiveness that you would show others because you deserve it just as much. 

This episode with Walt is a perfect reminder to check in with yourself, being true to who you are.  Are you living out of your own expectations? Do your values reflect what you do on a day to day basis? Gather your own perspectives on different situations within your life and surroundings, and make the connection to your path. There’s an endless line of possibilities, you just have to find what is healthiest for you. 

Ways to Engage: What are your passions? Sit with this question. What truly lights a fire in your soul? Is it what you currently do for work? Is it a hobby? Is it something that you don’t exercise in your life at all? Make this connection, and discover ways you can work your passion into everyday life or take steps towards living out your passion. 

Episode 9 - The Mind-Body Connection: How Emotional, Mental & Physical Health Shape Your Healing Journey with Melissa Crook

By Jessica Garrison

Our third talking point in The FEEL Podcast is about the interconnection between our emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, financial, and sexual health. This can be overwhelming to think about, but Melissa Crook is here with another empowerment episode to help give direction on this complicated yet necessary conversation. 

It’s so important to pay attention to your body because, convenient or not, it will send signals when in need of something. We tend to ignore the messages and power through, but there’s a reason you’re receiving them. We also tend to segment our layers of health, breaking them apart into smaller, manageable pieces to solve the problem. This may work for a time, but you have to look at your whole body to get the full picture. Melissa quotes Susan David on this subject to keep in mind: “Segmentation may begin as self-protection, but it often, eventually, becomes self-suppression.”

It takes time to unlearn and relearn things, especially when we have been raised in a society that teaches judgment over curiosity. As Melissa reminds us, there are no good or bad emotions. They are clues as to what is actually going on and what we need to address. Think about how you view emotions and how this affects your relationship with them. It’s important we name and acknowledge our emotions, understanding the connection between our systems of health.  

If you haven’t before, try utilizing a Feelings Wheel that breaks down emotions into more specifics to help nail down exactly what you may be feeling. Sometimes we think of basic emotions like happy, sad, angry, but there are more complex emotions than that, and the Feelings Wheel can help decipher those. Melissa says that she used to write her emotions out every day to see where she was at and what she needed.

Also consider these Ways To Engage: Writing your feelings down can be a great way to start finding the connection between all aspects of your health and giving yourself what you need to heal. Try writing them down as you feel them, recording them through a voice memo, or type them out on your phone notes. You don’t have to share it with anyone, so let yourself be honest and free of judgment.

If you struggle with this, Melissa is available for extra support to help you connect the dots of your health. 

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✨ Ready for deeper support? Visit our website to schedule a complimentary 30 minute session to learn more about Emotional, Mental, Physical, Spiritual, Financial, & Sexual Health Connections with Melissa 

Episode 8 - ​From Trauma to Empowerment: Healing, Boundaries & Finding Your True Self with Holly Hughes

By Jessica Garrison

Trigger warning: assault

Our next guest is the curious, creative, emotional, and driven Holly Hughes. There are some triggering topics during this conversation, but ones that are important to have nonetheless. Be sure to take care of yourself while listening and reference the resources if needed. 

Holly is an empath, which can make it difficult to set boundaries and prioritize self care. She recalls feeling selfish to do those things, because she thought she should be giving her all to everyone else. She would try to make it better for those around her, and I can attest from experience that it’s so exhausting trying to keep everyone happy all the time. You can’t control anyone else’s actions except your own, which we’ve discussed in the blog earlier this week, so you have to take responsibility for yourself. Whether that means walking away from people who no longer serve you or doing the work internally, no one can do it but you. And no one can do it for them except for themselves. 

In the episode, Holly shares that she lost her virginity at 15 from an assault, a violent act no one should ever experience. She has known profound loss in her life through this, miscarriages, and housefire. Abuse was well known to her, leading her to the world of Hollywood, which is known to be an abusive place under the lights and glamor. However, this was where she was taught to have boundaries and expectations, because Harvey Weinstein was huge in the business back then. Shortly before listening to this episode, I finished reading the book She Said, written by Megan Twohey and Jodi Kantor, the two female journalists who broke the story on Harvey Weinstein and his abuse in Hollywood. It was well known that he was someone not to be left alone with, but still nothing was ever done about it until years later. Unfortunately, this kind of thing isn’t uncommon, making it more important than ever to not only use your voice, but to believe others when they bravely decide to use theirs. 

Life is about evolution and change, something that Holly has embraced to the fullest. It took time and self-acceptance for her to support herself as well as other women in living unapologetically, but practice can only make you better at it, and with her empathy and drive, she has worked to transform herself for the healthier.

She says that she has surrendered to her feminine side and her power, something that I want to encourage every woman to do. Women are such incredible beings that harness more power than we realize. Once we tap into that and stop shrinking ourselves, there’s no telling how we can change the world. 

Ways to Engage: “Who am I?” Be conscious of what you’re thinking, and question how other people would describe you. How does family describe you? Friends?  Coworkers? Is that actually you or do you work to be that way for them? Work towards being who you want to be and finding your own descriptors.

Resources: 

RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline: 

• Call 800-656-HOPE

• Text HOPE to 64673

Chat Online here

Ready for deeper support? Visit our website to schedule a complimentary 30 minute session or learn more about The Essentials one-on-one empowerment program

Episode 7 - Confidently Setting Healthy Boundaries: Self-Care, Communication & Protecting Your Energy with Melissa Crook

By Jessica Garrison

Through our second talking point of the podcast, host Melissa Crook guides listeners to Confidently Setting Healthy Boundaries. In this empowerment episode, Melissa shares relatable anecdotes and tips that make setting boundaries not only doable, but also sustainable. 

Melissa presents questions you can ask yourself, and some of them might sound familiar from last week’s episode. That’s because these talking points go hand in hand with each other. Your self care practices can affect your boundaries, which can affect your mental or physical health, which can affect your why, and so on and so forth. They are all interconnected, so we have to remember that taking care of all aspects of our health is important. Without one, the rest will eventually fall. 

Ask yourself: Do you confidently set healthy boundaries? If so, what does that look like for you? Is it up to date? Does it still align with your wants and needs as a person? If not, or if you have a hard time answering some of these questions, ask yourself why or why not? What’s stopping you? What’s in your way? Reflect upon these questions when going through your boundaries journey. 

Clearly communicating your boundaries and limits to others is the best possible way forward. No one’s a mind reader, and if you’re not explicitly explaining what it is you want, then how can you expect others to know it, too? Melissa expresses the importance of using “I” statements when communicating your boundaries. This is crucial in any form of communicating, because you are in charge of your own actions. You can’t set boundaries for another person, even though we may try. However, you can control what you do in response to what they do. For example, instead of saying, “don’t invite her to the party,” you can say, “if X comes to the party, I will have to leave.” That isn’t blaming anyone else, but rather explicitly explaining what your boundary is and the actions you will take to protect them. 

We first heard from guest Valerie Rivera back in season 4 of The FEEL Podcast, but we have quoted her many times since. It ties so well together with boundaries, and never goes out of style: “Remember when you say yes to something, that means you’re saying no to something else. Make sure you’re okay with what you’re saying no to.”

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✨ Ready for deeper support? Visit our website to schedule a complimentary 30 minute session or learn more about Confidently Setting Boundaries with Melissa