Episode 23 -No More Overexplaining: Why "No" Is a Complete Sentence with Melissa Crook
By Jessica Garrison
When you say “no” to someone’s request, do you feel the need to give a long, drawn out explanation as to why you gave that answer? Whether it’s a legitimate reason or you just felt like saying no? If this sounds like you, keep reading! We’ve had so many guests bring this up in the past, with Melissa even saying she used to be the overexplaining champion of the world. It’s so important we keep having this conversation, so we continue our empowerment Tuesdays as Melissa discusses No More Overexplaining : “No” is a Complete Sentence. We want everyone to be able to say “no” without the explanation after. The answer of “yes” or “no” should be enough.
This goes side by side with boundaries, and it can be difficult when you finally start saying “no” to people to not give excuse after excuse as to why you can’t. Set the boundary within yourself that you won’t explain when you say “no,” you will just add the period to the end. The people in your life who respect you rather than what you can do for them will accept your answer, and these are some of the best people to have in your life. It’s inspiring to see each other in action, and you can be each other’s “accountability partner” along the way.
I think the most important lesson to take from this is the understanding that you, as well as your time, are valuable. You shouldn’t have to explain to someone why you can or cannot do something, but the battle is usually within ourselves. Most of the time, the other person isn’t even looking for an explanation as to why you said “no,” but they are just looking for an answer. We make up a lot of narratives in our heads that aren't necessarily true, so we need to take a moment and return to reality when we start to tell ourselves a different story. If people aren’t used to this behavior, there might be some push back, but remember your strength and stand by your boundaries; you set them for a reason.
It might be a process to get there, but it’s totally worth it, so just keep that end result in the back of your mind when practicing. If this is something you feel you need extra support with, Melissa is available for sessions to connect with your personal story or situation. Join us Tuesdays at 2 PM EST/11 AM PST for Melissa’s live empowerment episodes and comment any questions you may have for her. Start putting yourself first. You deserve it.
Ways To Engage: Next time you say no to something, leave it at that. Reflect on what you would have said when overexplaining and why you maybe would have said that. Is there something deeper going on internally? Are there layers that still need to be embraced or uncovered?
Join Melissa LIVE on our Substack (https://substack.com/@thefeelpodcast) for this week's Empowerment Tuesday conversation. You can also catch it later in the day on your favorite podcast platforms.
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