Episode 27 -Communicating Boundaries & Expectations: The Missing Piece of Healthy Relationships with Melissa Crook
By Jessica Garrison
As we carry on the conversation of living out FEEL, we need to narrow in on the subject of communication. Communicating our Boundaries and Expectations is just as important as setting them. No one is a mind reader, so we have to be very clear in how we expect to be treated and respected. It becomes especially important when you are making changes in your behavior to relay that information to people so they know about your new boundaries and expectations.
For example, let’s say that you have decided to make Mondays a day with no meetings whatsoever. It’s a new boundary you’re starting because you want more time to get work done in the office, but your coworkers won’t be aware of this change until you tell them. They’ll continue to ask for a meeting Monday, not because they’re trying to disrespect your boundaries, but because they don’t know about them. These conversations can show up in a multitude of ways, but this is just one simple example to help you think of ways you can communicate boundaries and expectations in your own life. It might take some time, or some people may not be receptive to them, but you have to at least communicate with them so everyone can be on the same page. It’s at that point people will show themselves to you as an actual supporter or someone who’s just using you for personal gain.
Change is difficult, but the more you practice communicating, the more natural it will feel. This piece also helps to keep you accountable. Once you say something, you have to stick by it, or else people won’t take your words seriously. If you don’t tell anyone, then they’ll keep up the same routine without realizing how much you are struggling. If they know your goal, they can help you pursue it and support you when others may be pushing that boundary. The more you speak it aloud, the more it will make it true, so keep up with your accountability as well by communicating your needs. A closed mouth doesn’t get fed, so if you want something, ask for it. If you don’t think you’re getting treated right, say something. There’s no way for people to tell what is going on inside our heads unless we tell them.
We teach people how to treat us, and how can they learn without your assistance? It can feel selfish or mean at first, but above all else, communication is kind. Join Melissa live every Tuesday for her empowerment episodes at 11 am EST/8 am PST on Substack! Ask questions and jump in on the conversation, sharing how you intend to communicate your boundaries and expectations.
Ways To Engage: Think about your expectations and boundaries, and think about the last time you properly communicated them. Choose someone close to you, a safe person, and try communicating these things to them. Get practice, even starting small if you need, and start working towards a greater scale to become more confident in your abilities.
Join Melissa LIVE on our Substack (https://substack.com/@thefeelpodcast) for this week's Empowerment Tuesday conversation at 8 am PST/11 am EST. You can also catch it later in the day on your favorite podcast platforms.
✨ Free Download: Embracing a FEEL Fueled Life Sample Freebie
✨ Ready for deeper support? Visit our website to schedule a complimentary 30 minute session to start effectively communicating your healthy boundaries and expectations, no over-explaining or apologizing necessary.