Episode 32 -From Perfectionism to Peace: Setting Boundaries, Prioritizing Self-Care & Preventing Burnout with Rosamaria Mancini
By Jessica Garrison
We’re thrilled to feature our next guest, Rosamaria Mancini. She describes herself as hospitable, someone who hates disorder, and she finds joy in giving. Rosamaria is a perfectionist, sometimes to the annoyance of the people around her. If there’s a type of person who benefits from The FEEL Podcast, it’s definitely perfectionists.
Boundaries tend to be a struggle for women, and Rosamaria was no different in her own journey. She recalls feeling guilty when she carved out time for herself, a natural emotion that comes up when you start putting yourself first. If you aren’t used to it, it feels selfish, rather than selfless. However, you don’t have to make a self care routine that is two hours long every day, you only need a few minutes here and there. It’s about creating something sustainable for yourself that you can keep up with and that keeps up with you from day to day. Take five minutes here and there to journal, or take twenty minutes to meditate. What you need each day can also vary, so listen to your body while you figure out your self care regime.
In turn, Rosamaria’s health was being affected by not having boundaries set or taking care of herself. When working on her PhD, Rosamaria says that she felt physically ill from the stress. However, being in academia, she was worried about judgment. People tend to pride themselves on working for days on end without a break or staying up all night to finish a paper, but there isn’t anything productive in that, although it may seem like it at first. This just causes suffering in the long run because eventually, you’ll burn out. Have some ways to pick yourself back up when needed, and look for the signs of when you need it.
Rosamaria was looking for a solution, but as she says, “You cannot sustain such high levels of stress with no sense of peace.” You will start to shut down, whether it’s your mind or your body. There’s no magic potion that “fixes” everything. This is why we call it a journey. There isn’t a clear road map that tells you exactly what to do, and there is no one size fits all. You have to get to know yourself, accept those layered aspects of yourself, and heal from the inside out.
Rosamaria wrote a book entitled, SOS Podcasts, a memoir that details how podcasts helped her feel not so alone in an unfamiliar world. It just goes to show how powerful podcasts and their messages are. It led Rosamaria to finding herself, led us to each other, and hopefully will help women find themselves all over the world.
Ways to Engage: Start asking: Think of some differing self care activities that can vary in time. Whether it be journaling, reading, going for a walk, meditating, biking, listening to music, or whatever you choose, find what nourishes your soul. Figure out what works best day to day and always remember to listen to your body.