Episode 21 - Breaking the “I’m Sorry” Habit: What Over-Apologizing Revealed About My Self-Worth, Boundaries, and Healing with Melissa Crook

By Melissa Crook

Before we begin, a quick note from me. Most weeks, our gifted author, Jessica Garrison, writes the blogs that accompany our episodes. But this week's conversation touches on a journey that has been profoundly personal and transformative in my own life. Because of that, I felt called to put the words on the page myself and share this story directly with you. 

How many times a day do you say, "I'm sorry"?

Not because you've done something wrong, but because you've taken up space, asked for what you need, changed your mind, expressed an opinion, or simply existed.

For years, I apologized for things that weren't my fault, responsibility, or burden to carry. It became so automatic that I didn't even realize I was doing it. "I'm sorry" had become a reflex- response so deeply ingrained that I rarely questioned it.

Looking back, I can see how early conditioning taught me that being "too much" was a problem to solve. Somewhere along the way, I learned that other people's comfort mattered more than my own needs, opinions, and boundaries. So I became skilled at minimizing myself, smoothing things over, and apologizing for things that never required an apology.

The turning point came much later in life when I began paying closer attention to my inner dialogue. What I discovered surprised me. Beneath the surface was a pattern I had carried for decades; one that was quietly shaping how I showed up in relationships, conversations, decisions, and even the way I moved through the world.

What I didn't know then was that breaking the "I'm sorry" habit would lead me to uncover something even deeper.

It wasn't just about the words.

It was about self-value.

It was about boundaries.

It was about permission.

And it was about learning that my existence is not an inconvenience.

The process of changing this habit wasn't easy, but it transformed the way I communicate, advocate for myself, and navigate relationships. Along the way, I also discovered another behavior that often travels hand-in-hand with chronic apologizing, one that many women struggle with without even realizing it.

In this week's Empowerment Tuesday episode of The FEEL Podcast, I'll share the surprising ways over-apologizing shows up in everyday life, where it often comes from, and some of the tools that helped me begin rewriting the story.

You may recognize yourself in more of this conversation than you expect.

Ways To Engage:  This week, pay attention to how often you say "I'm sorry."

Are you actually apologizing for something you've done wrong?

Or are you apologizing for having needs, taking up space, setting a boundary, or simply being human?

You might be surprised by what you discover.

Join me LIVE on our Substack (https://substack.com/@thefeelpodcast) for this week's Empowerment Tuesday conversation. You can also catch it later in the day on your favorite podcast platforms. Either way, I have a feeling it's one you won't want to miss.

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