Episode 1 - The Power of Boundaries, Hope, and Healing with Gretchen Schoser

By Jessica Garrison

Trigger warning: suicide

Welcome back to season 9 of The F.E.E.L Podcast! We are so excited to kick off our season with Gretchen Schoser. She is authentic, fun, vulnerable, loves to laugh, operates in her integrity, and she is a giver of hope.

Boundaries have been an important aspect for Gretchen to learn to be able to feel like herself again. She says that she used to let people drain her, always taking from her but never giving anything back. As an extrovert and an empath, it was difficult for Gretchen to say no, but she realized she couldn’t possibly take it all on—no one can. If it smells like drama, she says, then it cannot come into her life. You wouldn’t think that cutting the drama out of your life would be so transformative, but it really is. Growing up, the friends I had were not always supportive or encouraging, and that affected my mental health for a long time. If your friends are not going to lift you up or participate in the friendship, then it’s probably best to end that relationship. Gretchen says, “there is a reason and a season for some friends,” and I couldn’t agree more.

I also want to touch on Gretchen’s “why” because it is not only life changing, but it is life saving. Gretchen was in a dark place, ready to end her life, but she had a glimmer of hope that changed everything. She called 988, a suicide and crisis line, and the woman on the other end held such compassion that it changed the trajectory of Gretchen’s life. She doesn’t want people to feel as alone and scared as she was in the depths of her depression, and that’s why she shares her story. You don’t have to be at the end of your rope to call 988—you can call whenever you need someone to listen or you can call on behalf of someone else. Compassion goes a long way, and Gretchen spreads that message everywhere she goes.

These events eventually birthed Gretchen’s podcast, “Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads,” that she cohosts with her best friend. We don’t always have the right words to explain the shit that goes on in our heads, but the more we share our feelings and what we’re thinking, the closer we will get to putting into words.

We are so proud to present Gretchen as our first guest this season, sharing all of the good she does in the world and the journey it took to get there. We do not want anyone to reach a breaking point before they ask for help, and with Gretchen’s work, we can continue to move away from that tipping point. Even if it may feel that way, you are not alone in your struggles and there are people to reach out to for help. Don’t give up—you can be the change you want to see in the world, just as Gretchen has been.

Ways to Engage: Find something that brings you joy, even if it’s small. Maybe it’s your favorite book, the smell of a certain flower, a person, etc. Describe it, appreciate it, and continue to find something new each day that brings you happiness. 

Resources: 

Suicide & Crisis Line: 988 (call or text - available 24 hours)

Trevor Project’s Suicide Hotline for LGBTQ+ Youth: 1-866-488-7386 (or text ‘START’ to 678-678 - both available 24 hours)