Episode 14 - Releasing “Good Girl Syndrome” with Kat Newport

By Jessica Garrison

I truly believe everyone is going to love this next episode with our guest, Kat Newport. Kat is a compassionate leader and a problem solver. She remains grounded yet courageous, she is purpose-driven, and she is fearlessly supportive, which becomes very clear after just a few minutes of the conversation.

I think it’s safe to say that all women, at one point or another, have experienced “good girl syndrome,” which is very prominent in people pleasers. It’s always putting someone else above yourself, neglecting your own boundaries, self care, expectations, values, or health in the process. Women are trained from the time they are young girls—whether they see it in real life, media, or the culture around them—to take care of others before themselves. As Kat says, it is important to identify when this program is coming out, so you can understand why exactly it was activated and what you can do to stop it.

It’s uncomfortable in the beginning to change behaviors you’re so used to, but if it’s healthier for you, then it’s worth the effort to at least try. Kat reminds us that there’s two steps to confidently setting boundaries: standing by the boundary and maintaining it. The work is not done once you lay down the boundary, but you also have to maintain it when you get pushback from people. It’s up to you to do that, and even though people aren’t always trying to negatively impact your boundaries, you still have to stand up for them. Maybe they forgot or didn’t think you were serious about it, but no matter the reason, remember why you’re doing it.

While discussing the purpose of her own why, Kat gives great advice that can be used in many different areas of F.E.E.L. When there’s friction or hardship with people, ask questions such as, what exactly is the concern? How do you want to see it resolved in an ideal world? Open yourself up to the relationship and the solution. Remember, your delivery of words matters, and you have to at least be open to negotiation or compromise. She used this example for confronting someone at work, but I would definitely suggest tucking this into the back of your mind and revisiting when there’s a conflict in your life.

There are a few other character traits Kat possesses that I’d like to share at the end of this blog. She balances kindness with accountability, ensuring people feel heard while driving results. Kat stands up for others while fostering a culture of care and responsibility, leads with heart and conviction, makes thoughtful decisions that benefit individuals as well as the bigger picture, tackles challenges head on with empathy and strategic thinking, and she approaches situations with wisdom and emotional intelligence while taking bold action when needed. This episode has been one of my favorites this season. Kat gives so much great advice, and along with her captivating storytelling, this is one you won’t want to miss.

Ways to Engage: What are some examples you’ve seen or experienced with “good girl syndrome?” Is this something you were aware of before listening to the episode or is new to you? Become aware of situations like this in your life or in the lives of those around you, supporting women in living unapologetically.