Episode 13 - Embracing Kindness, Patience, & Tolerance with Arlene Miller
By Jessica Garrison
We are joined this week by Arlene Miller, an authentic, compassionate, courageous, and loyal woman. She describes her character traits as sacred qualities, just one example of how her outlook shows another layer to the conversations we have each week.
When it comes to living out of her own expectations, Arlene brings a new perspective that I don’t think has been brought up before. She says we need to drop expectations with judgment, not only for ourselves but for others as well. Sometimes we make assumptions about what others will do for us or what we expect of them, and those assumptions are lined with judgment. We should reframe the way we view people without putting them into boxes. When someone asks you a favor, consider it for a while before automatically agreeing, and do the same thing vice versa. Offer them time to think it over rather than pressuring someone to give you an answer right away. By doing this, we’re able to uphold their boundaries, showcase how we want ours to be upheld, and inspire those around us to leave judgment out of their expectations.
Curiosity is a beautiful sacred quality according to Arlene, and we can’t help but agree. Melissa is always sharing how we should stop feeling judgmental and start feeling curious. An example of this could be, instead of judging the woman at the grocery store on food stamps, bring a more curious perspective. Could she be a single mother? Could she have a serious health condition that causes her to put money towards medical bills over groceries? Could she be all alone and just needs a little extra help? Maybe she uses food stamps just because she can, but no matter the reason, it isn’t our place to judge. If you find yourself being judgmental, start asking some questions that could answer some of these judgments. Whether our judgments are right or wrong, curiosity leads us to become more tolerant and patient with people, just as Arlene has.
Arlene has learned to love and accept herself through her journey because showing grace to others allows you to develop grace for yourself. There’s no need to be so hard on people, and that includes yourself. We’re all just doing our best in this world full of obstacles, but mistakes are opportunities to learn and grow. I’ll end this blog with a beautiful visualization Arlene inspires within us before going to sleep.
Imagine yourself as a tree, starting with the roots. We have to be deeply rooted in the ground to stand strong, and this foundation means everything. As we learn new things and develop our own sense of self, we continue to grow towards a sky of possibility. Sprouting branches and growing leaves just adds layers to our whole self. Even through the different seasons, as the tree loses leaves and it blossoms, the tree continues to stand tall, adjusting itself to survive the changes. However, it always comes back to its beautiful self during its peak season. Remember that you are strong and deserve to take up space. You are always changing yet your roots remain grounded in the Earth. You are whoever you imagine yourself to be, and you will withstand whatever comes your way.
Ways to Engage: We talk about living out of your own expectations, but do you consider what expectations you put upon other people? Are they fair and reasonable? Are you making a quick judgment of someone else and what you expect them to do for you? The work begins with us, and we should keep these thoughts in the back of our mind as we continue to grow and evolve.