Episode 15 - How to Say NO Without Guilt | Stacey Olson on Boundaries & Self-Care
By Jessica Garrison
To be present with optimism and integrity is invaluable, especially in a world that sometimes moves faster than we’d like it to. However, our next guest, Stacey Olson, believes in walking the talk, and she’s been on a journey to say “no” with confidence, minus all the guilt that comes with it.
Stacey’s well-rounded grasp on layers really stuck with me after listening to the episode, particularly when she said it’s important to “be present, not perfect.” We can agree to everything people want us to and be at every event we’re asked to be, but we’d be there as shells of ourselves, too worn out to actually participate. Make sure you are savoring the moments as they are in the present rather than looking back at them wishing you had done more to enjoy yourself.
Your energy levels can be compared to a gas tank, which Stacey says might not always run on full capacity, but it should never be running on empty. She had been operating on empty for quite some time, but she’s learned to not let her gas tank fall under half before taking the time to refuel. Now that she understands these things about herself, it’s important that she continues to take care of herself as she unpeels the layers, which encourages her to keep going. I think many of us can relate to running on an empty tank, thinking just one more day or just another week. We always say as humans that we need more time in the day yet we’re constantly wishing the time we do have away. It’s time to fill your days with moments you can be present in and plan for moments you can look forward to.
Grant yourself more grace and patience, especially as you just begin to step into accepting the layered aspects of yourself. Stacey continues to grow and evolve, letting go of some of the pressure and expectations she’s had in the past. Some of this pressure was put on by others, but a lot of it she put on herself, which is another experience I think many of us can relate to. Usually when we feel like there’s a lot of pressure on us, it’s coming from within. People in our lives typically just want us to be happy and proud of ourselves, but our minds tend to run wild with made up stories. Communication is an incredible tool to utilize when accepting the layered aspects of yourself, and this includes listening. You have to listen to your body, understand your needs, and communicate them to those around you.
This topic, along with living out F.E.E.L and how it’s affected your relationships, nicely wraps up Stacey’s episode and showcases her character perfectly. If there’s one thing to remember while on the journey, it’s that we’re all human, and that includes you. Be kind, be patient, and allow yourself grace.
Ways to Engage: Think about if there is balance between the different areas of your life. How can you maintain this balance or create more clear alignments? Remember that self care isn’t selfish. If you want to prioritize those you love, taking care of yourself allows you to show up for them and be more present in those moments.