Episode 4 - Planting Boundaries & Embracing Your Layers with Mary Rothwell

By Jessica Garrison

We have a fun crossover this week with Mary Rothwell, who is the host of the podcast “No More Shrinking Violets.” Melissa was in an episode called “Embracing All Your Layers: The Path to Authentic Living,” and now Mary is here to be our guest! Mary is empowering, genuine, authentic, practical, grounded, connected, dynamic, introspective, creative, nature-focused, and she has a great sense of humor.  

I loved hearing Mary talk about her boundaries, the way she describes them makes them seem not so intimidating, but rather doable and rewarding. Since she is an avid gardner, she compares her boundaries to plants and, even though that might seem funny at first, it makes the most sense in the world. Sometimes plants need to be cut or trimmed to thrive, and if there is too much going on around them, they can’t flourish. You have to get rid of the weeds surrounding them and cut off parts that are no longer serving them.

If we have too many things going on and not enough space for ourselves, we’ll start to dwindle. And just like plants will lean towards the sun and away from the shadows, you can lean away from people who are taking too much from you and lean into those who are supporting and lifting you up. People are always evolving, as are our boundaries, so it’s okay to go with the flow until you figure out what you need to prosper. 

Mary also mentions the physical reaction she gets when she doesn’t set boundaries, and I think many people can agree with this without even realizing. Eventually, all of the tasks on our schedule catch up to us and you might feel tired, cranky, overwhelmed, emotional, or even depressed. It’s crucial that we listen to our bodies, even if we don’t know the reason why something is happening, the body is telling us for a reason. Slow down if you’re feeling tired, get some movement if you’re feeling stiff, and look at the bigger picture within your boundaries. 

Invisible labor is another term that Mary brings up, and she says most of the invisible work comes from women. An example of this could be the office function or Christmas party. No one thinks about who got the food, who scheduled it, who decorated, who got the word out, and who made sure everything went off without a hitch, but odds are, it’s probably a woman who made the event happen. It’s someone who doesn’t get noticed or is thanked, but she keeps the world moving, and I love that Mary gave recognition to these people. We can pay more attention to those in our lives who do the invisible work, and we can appreciate them the way they deserve.  

Please check out Melissa’s episode on Mary’s podcast, explore her page, and listen to some other episodes from her. Mary is all about knowing her worth to set boundaries, taking care of herself, and embracing all of her beautiful, complex layers. She is a woman who does so much to keep everyone else afloat, but she is certainly anything but invisible.

Ways to Engage: Take the time to wind down 2 hours before bed. Limit screen time, do some breathing exercises, read a couple chapters in a book, color, or do anything that helps slow your mind down. Sleep is important for us to function daily, so if you have a difficult time sleeping, put more energy into this aspect of your health.