Episode 11 - Unapologetic Living: How Women Can Build Confidence, Stop Apologizing & Support Each Other with Melissa Crook
By Jessica Garrison
We continue our empowerment episodes through the talking points with Supporting Yourself & Other Women Unapologetically with host Melissa Crook. Women are constantly apologizing for things that aren’t their fault or for taking up space in a room where they belong, but we need to stop shrinking ourselves into what we think others want us to be and just be ourselves.
One of the greatest ways you can support other women in living unapologetically is by treating yourself that way first. When you become more connected with yourself and more authentic, it radiates through your interactions with others. You hear the word “vibe” thrown around a lot, and I think someone with good vibes is someone who lives out unapologetic living and supports others in doing that, too.
Women tend to see other women as competition because social and societal norms have taught us to be against each other. If we’re too busy fighting with each other, then we can’t look at the real issues that affect us in a patriarchal society. Melissa says that we have to get rid of the scarcity mindset because there are enough seats at the table for us. We shouldn’t have to fight to be the one woman in the room—why can’t there be more than one woman in the room at once? This is how we should continue, working together rather than working against one another. A Ruth Bader Ginsberg quote I think of often really puts things into perspective with this conversation: “I’m sometimes asked when there will be enough [women on the Supreme Court], and I say when there are nine. People are shocked. But there’d been nine men, and nobody’s ever raised a question about that.”
Even if you are a man, Melissa shares ways you can support yourself and women in living unapologetically. One example is when you’re in an environment where a woman is speaking and someone interrupts her, stop that person. “I don’t think X wasn’t done speaking yet. Let’s let her finish and then we’ll come back to you.” It doesn’t have to be harsh or rude, but just a reminder that women deserve the same respect as any man who may be in the same room. Help others feel seen and heard, fully listening to them when they’re talking rather than rehearsing in your head what you may say next. It takes time to practice, but it’s your path towards creating deeper connections and making people feel seen.
In all areas of life, communication is kindness. When we clearly communicate our thoughts, desires, and frustrations, our expectations are more likely to be met. It’s time to start expressing yourself unapologetically and along the way, help others do the same.
If you struggle with this, Melissa is available for extra support to help you connect the dots of your health.
Ways To Engage: Track how many times this week you say “I’m Sorry” for something that is not actually yours to apologize for? When this happens, consider other language you can use in the place of that.
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