Episode 11 - Exhausted to Empowered: Setting Healthy Boundaries with Suzanne Culberg
By Jessica Garrison
It always amazes me how far our messages reach, and our next guest goes to show just how universal the meaning of F.E.E.L is. If you ask Suzanne Culberg, her character traits are irreverent, mischievous, and unfiltered. If you ask the audience of her podcast, The Nope Coach, she is energetic, funny, and direct.
Suzanne offered some great examples of real life cases that really puts into perspective how vital it is that we take care of ourselves. We’ve heard the example of airplane oxygen masks a few times in the past, signifying the need to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. In this episode, she talks about the races in Australia and how the racers need to stop at one point or another during the race to take care of their cars. Whether it be replacing tires or filling up the gas tank, there’s no way for the cars to make it through the race without stopping at least once. If they try to push through, they’ll run out of fuel or could spin out from damage. They might be in the lead for a good chunk of the race, but eventually they will fall behind because they weren’t pacing themselves. The same goes for people—we need to refuel and take breaks in order to come out on top. Suzanne emphasizes the importance of taking the pit stop and being present in the moment; you’ll thank yourself later.
Beginning all of this can be an adjustment, but Suzanne also reminds us to give ourselves grace as we begin our own journey. Another example she used is when you first start working out at a gym, you don’t automatically start lifting 100 pound weights—you have to work your way up to that. You can try to push yourself to do it, but you’ll hurt yourself in the process and will be back to square one. There’s no shame in starting small and gradually working towards the person you want to be. It truly is the healthiest and safest option.
Suzanne shares that being up front with people can be simple, though that takes a bit of practice. We tend to over explain ourselves when we first start setting boundaries and telling people no, but we’re just creating a lot more work for ourselves in the long run. Being up front and honest is the best bet for everyone involved—there’s no dancing around the subject wondering what we thought someone might have meant by something. Rather, it’s all laid out for us in the beginning.
You can visit Suzanne’s website and check out her podcast on Spotify to learn even more about her journey, how far she’s come, and all of the incredible places she’ll be going. Which example from Suzanne will you be using in your day to day life? They’re definitely key reminders you’ll want to keep in the back of your mind. Not only will they help you show kindness and patience for others, but for yourself as well.
Ways to Engage: Next time someone requests something from you, such as a time-consuming favor, take time to think about it before agreeing. Is this something you have the capacity for mentally or physically? Are you only saying yes out of obligation or is it something you really want to do/help out with? There’s nothing wrong with taking the time to make a decision, and an honest decision is one well made.