Episode 10 - Taking Time for You is NOT Lazy with Leigh Shulman
By Jessica Garrison
The patient and creative Leigh Shulman joins us this week to share her perspective through our talking points. I made so many personal connections with her story, and I can’t wait to hear which parts everyone else connected with, too. Leigh loves to explore, and it’s very apparent in her open mindedness and willingness to truly listen to others.
Leigh is supporting women unapologetically everyday through her work as a women’s writing mentor, but she says she hears from men as well. When they reach out to her, she listens and helps in any way she can. The men who contact her are very respectful and are not caught up in what’s for men and what’s for women. Leigh and her husband model this kind of behavior for their son, who participates in jiu jitsu, a Japanese system of unarmed combat and physical training. Whether her son wins or loses, it isn’t about the sex of the person opposite of him. Sometimes girls beat him in competition, and he doesn’t look at it like he’s weak because of that. People usually see this as negative, but thinking that he should have won because he’s a boy and they should be stronger than girls is a negative stereotype that we have to work to get rid of.
This is everywhere in our media. I remember growing up with an episode of Zoey 101 on Nickelodeon where Zoey is on the wrestling team, but none of the boys want to wrestle her. If they were to beat her, they would look bad for “beating up a girl,” but if they were to lose, then it looks bad because they got beat by a girl, which is apparently very shameful. Girls are always being deemed as not athletic because they’re deemed inferior, but if they were to be more athletic than a boy, that doesn’t follow social guidelines—they’re not even given a fair chance from the start.
We also see this in sports with transgender athletes who sometimes aren’t even allowed to participate because people get wrapped up in what’s “fair” between men and women. That and, unfortunately, transphobia is alive and well in our society. Leigh emphasizes the importance of sitting in the discomfort and figuring out why you’re uncomfortable. Melissa always says that emotions are clues from our body, so hone in on that and create thoughtful discussions about why you or someone else may be feeling uncomfortable, even in tough or controversial conversations such as this.
You can check out Leigh’s website if you’re interested in working with her, reading her blogs, or taking one of her courses. It’s crucial, even life saving, that we create spaces for everyone to pursue their dreams and have the confidence to accomplish whatever they put their minds to. Women like Leigh make a great change in the world, especially through her writing, which I appreciate so much. There is a wealth of knowledge in this episode, so sit back, relax, and take it all in.
Ways to Engage: Do you have a problem with seeing rest or naps as lazy? Time may be limited, but time for you is not wasted, nor is it laziness. Give yourself permission to get the rest your body and mind needs.