Episode 8 - From Trauma to Empowerment: Healing, Boundaries & Finding Your True Self with Holly Hughes
By Jessica Garrison
Trigger warning: assault
Our next guest is the curious, creative, emotional, and driven Holly Hughes. There are some triggering topics during this conversation, but ones that are important to have nonetheless. Be sure to take care of yourself while listening and reference the resources if needed.
Holly is an empath, which can make it difficult to set boundaries and prioritize self care. She recalls feeling selfish to do those things, because she thought she should be giving her all to everyone else. She would try to make it better for those around her, and I can attest from experience that it’s so exhausting trying to keep everyone happy all the time. You can’t control anyone else’s actions except your own, which we’ve discussed in the blog earlier this week, so you have to take responsibility for yourself. Whether that means walking away from people who no longer serve you or doing the work internally, no one can do it but you. And no one can do it for them except for themselves.
In the episode, Holly shares that she lost her virginity at 15 from an assault, a violent act no one should ever experience. She has known profound loss in her life through this, miscarriages, and housefire. Abuse was well known to her, leading her to the world of Hollywood, which is known to be an abusive place under the lights and glamor. However, this was where she was taught to have boundaries and expectations, because Harvey Weinstein was huge in the business back then. Shortly before listening to this episode, I finished reading the book She Said, written by Megan Twohey and Jodi Kantor, the two female journalists who broke the story on Harvey Weinstein and his abuse in Hollywood. It was well known that he was someone not to be left alone with, but still nothing was ever done about it until years later. Unfortunately, this kind of thing isn’t uncommon, making it more important than ever to not only use your voice, but to believe others when they bravely decide to use theirs.
Life is about evolution and change, something that Holly has embraced to the fullest. It took time and self-acceptance for her to support herself as well as other women in living unapologetically, but practice can only make you better at it, and with her empathy and drive, she has worked to transform herself for the healthier.
She says that she has surrendered to her feminine side and her power, something that I want to encourage every woman to do. Women are such incredible beings that harness more power than we realize. Once we tap into that and stop shrinking ourselves, there’s no telling how we can change the world.
Ways to Engage: “Who am I?” Be conscious of what you’re thinking, and question how other people would describe you. How does family describe you? Friends? Coworkers? Is that actually you or do you work to be that way for them? Work towards being who you want to be and finding your own descriptors.
Resources:
RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline:
Call 800-656-HOPE
Text HOPE to 64673
Chat Online here
Ready for deeper support? Visit our website to schedule a complimentary 30 minute session or learn more about The Essentials one-on-one empowerment program