Episode 43 - How to Break Free from Codependency, People Pleasing & Trauma Bonds: Set Healthy Boundaries & Heal with Melissa Crook

By Jessica Garrison

Relationships can be in our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Although there’s many relationships we’d like to hold onto forever, the healthiest option is to let go and Break Free from Codependent, People Pleasing, Trauma Bonded Relationships. People don’t see these characteristics in their relationships until they have grown beyond needing the support and realize just how much they depended on someone else.  

When we’re in survival mode, we do whatever we need to get through, and sometimes that leads to unhealthy habits and relationships. Not all relationships that start this way need to end, but both parties need to be working on themselves and continue growing. Otherwise, you’ll just end up back where you started. Though FEEL is a connected journey to other women, we all have to learn to live it out on our own.

It’s easy to fall back into old habits and difficult to get back on track. You can continue to support one another, but you might have to take a step back to maintain those necessary boundaries. This way, you’re showing that you no longer need to lean on them and that there is power within them to stand on their own, too. It’s exhausting to constantly be pleasing people or being the other half of a codependent relationship. 

Although some people are willing to make a change, you have to stand strong in your boundaries when they try to pushback. We’ve heard guests say that they’ve experienced this when they started setting boundaries after not having them for so long, and this can lead to some difficult decisions. At the end of the day, you have to do what is best for you and keep yourself healthy inside and out. That is your most important obligation, though that’s not what we’re originally taught growing up. Without pouring into yourself first, you’ll never be able to pour into others.

Remember the reasons you’re transforming your life and keep the end goal in mind. It’s difficult to break free from relationships you’ve had for a long time, especially ones that were developed through trauma bonding or thrive on codependency. However, it’s the healthiest decision for you in the long run. Trust me, the relationship you form with yourself along the way will be your greatest one yet.

Ways To Engage:  Start setting boundaries with friends or family members you feel you have a codependent, people pleasing, or trauma bonded relationship with. Set a boundary you’ve been meaning to and pay attention to how they react once you set it. You might receive resistance, but keep in mind your end goals and how you want to see your life change. 

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