Episode 35 - Our (In)Visible Work: Emotional Intelligence, Leadership & Empowerment with Dr. Doreen MacAulay & Dr. Janelle Wells
By Jessica Garrison
We have double the excitement for this episode featuring two special guests: Dr. Doreen MacAulay and Dr. Janelle Wells! Doreen is a dedicated, empathetic, and hardworking facilitator while Janelle is a learner, optimist, nurturer, and a unity-builder. I’m thrilled we’re hosting these two ladies who have so much kindness and wisdom to share, especially about the professional world.
While discussing taking care of their emotional and mental health as much as their physical health, the two talked about emotional intelligence, which is the ability to understand, use, and manage your emotions. We don’t always have the language to describe the emotion we’re feeling, but Janelle says she observes before responding, and this allows her time to think about what she wants to say before she says it. She lets her breath be the first word she speaks, and both Melissa and I loved this phrasing. Janelle is registering her emotions before saying something she may regret in the heat of the moment. In high school I learned the phrase BAR: breathe, assess, react. Take a breath, assess the situation, and then react to what is happening. A lot of people like to RAB: react to what happened, assess their actions, and then breathe. With BAR, you’re allowing the first word to be a breath and managing your emotions in a more healthy way.
Doreen gives a real life example of emotional exhaustion when, during an early job, she thought her boss was mad at her, and it bothered her the whole day. She was tense all day thinking about the situation, and when he spoke to her later, he didn’t even mention it. He wasn’t mad at her at all, but she told herself this narrative that he was, and this created a lot of emotional turmoil that didn’t need to happen. She says it’s key to have something around you to ground you and your emotions. Remember what is reality and what is a narrative created in your head, so you don’t have to carry all this unnecessary stress.
The two have since helped other businesses “reinvest in people to empower work that matters within the workplace and the communities they serve” with WellsQuest, and I think it’s so wonderful that they use their passions to help create healthier work environments. This also ties into supporting women in living unapologetically, helping women recognize a healthy workplace and community.
One last quote I want to leave with that Janelle says is to “speak up even if your voice shakes.” Standing up in front of a room full of people to disagree with them or give them your opinion is scary, but it’s still important to make your opinion heard. Even if you stutter the whole way through your sentence or your voice is shaking with fear, be proud of yourself for speaking your mind in a situation it wasn’t comfortable to. Allow yourself to take up space and recognize that your voice deserves to be heard, just as Doreen and Janelle do through their journey.
Ways to Engage: Find something that can ground you during a stressful or highly intense emotional state. Whether it be an object, a person, or a technique that brings you back to Earth, start thinking of things that can be grounding for you when your nervous system needs it most.