Episode 21 - Boundaries, Empathy & the Nonlinear Journey to Growth with Jewel Hohman
By Jessica Garrison
Our first guest of the week is the curious, empathetic, and passionate Jewel Hohman. Her journey is so specific to her yet there are dozens of connecting points that will resonate with everyone listening.
The conversation Melissa and Jewel have on boundaries is a great reminder for people that change is not linear. We’re only human after all, and we tend to relapse back into old habits, but we have to remember that that’s okay. It’s important not to beat yourself up over these setbacks, but rather to recognize the behavior and continue to move forward. There are stages of change, and as long as you’re trying, you should recognize that within yourself.
Jewel also talks about making boundaries about you rather than the other person, and this is something that’s continued to come up this season. As much as we may like to, we cannot control another person’s actions, but we can hold them accountable with our own actions. It’s not effective to say to someone, “Stop doing X.” But you can say, “if you keep doing X, then I will do Y.” It’s crucial then to follow through with your action if they continue to cross your boundary, but communicating it this way is most efficient. I’ve used this phrasing in the past and have seen the results firsthand, and I can confirm it’s worth the internal battle you may have with yourself. It’s rewarding to see people respect your boundaries, or if they don’t, it’s rewarding to see yourself respect your own boundaries and see yourself as valuable enough to defend.
In her journey, Jewel mentally chose to direct her attention into fulfilling relationships with people who respected her boundaries and didn’t make her choose between them. Keep in mind that you cannot take on other people’s emotions, though we tend to do that as humans, especially when you’re an empathetic person. Empathy is an incredible trait to have, but that doesn’t mean you should be constantly carrying other people’s emotions with you. If you’re trying to find “the right answer,” Jewel says there is no right answer. However, there is whatever is right for you, and that’s where you can begin.
Jewel is truly making a difference within her own life with the way she values herself and confidently lives authentically, which in turns makes an incredible difference in the lives of others. As she continues to be empathetic, curious, and passionate, join Jewel in your own journey to become the healthiest version of yourself who sees how worth it you really are.
Ways to Engage: Ask yourself questions of what you want for the future and what you want for yourself right now in life. What experiences do you want to have? Ask yourself the rapid fire questions: How do you want to be feeling in the next 6 months? What activities nourish you? Use these answers to live out of your own expectations and go after what you want.