Episode 17 - Unmasking the Layers: Eating Disorders, Sexual Shame & the Journey to Self-Healing with Leslie Draffin
By Jessica Garrison
Episode trigger warning: eating disorder
Leslie Draffin is a passionate, purpose-driven, and embrace the present moment kind of woman, who continues to learn and grow on her journey of self-discovery, which is all part of being human. During the episode and blog, eating disorders are a main topic of conversation, so be sure to take care of yourself and proceed with caution if this is a sensitive subject for you. Resources will be provided for anyone who needs them as we continue to have these difficult yet crucial conversations.
Leslie speaks openly about her past with an eating disorder, and I truly believe that even if it isn't categorized as an eating disorder, so many people, women especially, suffer from disordered eating. Leslie lived with her eating disorder for 20 years before she reconnected with her body. No one had mentioned the word eating disorder to her because she had been within perfect range for the BMI scale, but that didn’t mean the way she went about her diet to fit within that scale was healthy. However, it was never an issue because she fit into the mold that most doctors were looking for. I wrote in our book, Embracing Layers Unapologetically, about the double standards of women and their weight in society, especially in American culture. If you’re skinny, no one cares what you’re doing or what you’re eating—they’re just happy you’re thin. If you’re overweight, no one cares that you’re killing yourself in the gym or starving because you’re still fat and that must be your own fault. Leslie had been doing detrimental harm to her body and mental state, but no doctors, except one, would question her health because she matched the “right” numbers. This goes to show how imperative it is to listen to your body and trust your instincts because no one knows you better than yourself.
Overcoming sexual shame was also on Leslie’s list of layers she had to embrace. She was hiding the positive result of an STI and sweeping things under the rug rather than confronting them. Leslie was working from the outside in rather than working from the inside out, causing a lot of internal conflict. She filled the void in her body with unhealthy things rather than taking the time to learn about herself and fill her perceived void with nourishment. We’re constantly trying to push away hurtful memories or complicated emotions, but it’s when we face them head on that we get the results we’re looking for.
There is a huge weight that’s lifted once we begin to reveal the truth to ourselves, show more compassion, and shed shame and judgment. I hope that Leslie’s sincerity and her story inspire others to step out of the dark and into the light of their own journey.
Ways to Engage: Challenge yourself to look at your health in a different way. If you’re constantly checking the number on the scale, start looking at how much water you drink in a day or how many steps you get in. If you feel like you don’t have any time for yourself, start carving out small amounts of time to let yourself breathe, even if it’s just for 5 minutes. A fresh perspective allows for different results and new ideas in your journey.
Resources:
ANAD Eating Disorder Helpline: 1-888-375-7767 (Mon-Fri 10 AM to 10 PM EST)
Information on Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI): https://www.cdc.gov/std/treatment-guidelines/default.htm